Noise Above Our Heads

So about two days ago, I woke up the most UH-mazing review. Not only did this reader enjoy the book, but she captured every… single… thing that I was trying to accomplish with it. It was incredibly overwhelming and validating and it kind of ruined me for being productive that day, lol. Because I was supposed to be writing. But it was good, because it forced me to take a break and be a bit celebratory.

But the funny thing is, that same day I got what could only be described as a “mixed” review from a blogger. It was clear from what they described that not only were they not clear on what I was trying to achieve, they were lowkey disturbed by it, lol. And that…I won’t say it tainted the day, but I sort of kicked myself for asking for a review from someone that I wasn’t entirely sure would get my vibe. And a blogger is someone with followers and influence, and likely similar tastes and views so I was a little afraid that it was a misstep. The experience leaves me reticent to reach out to any bloggers. After waking up to a completely organic review, I much prefer the feel of someone taking time out of their life to tell someone else about how much they appreciated the result of all your hard labor, over asking for the approval of a supposed authority on the matter.

Even though they say that any publicity is good publicity, and to a point I agree, it’s still early in the life of the book. And the way people get in their feelings these days, I’m really more afraid that the book will continue to receive overwhelming reception, and all the people with less than favorable reactions will feel the need to double down on their opinions and do more harm than good. In the end, it has less to do with the fact that the review was mixed, and more with the fact that it was a bit of power that I gave away that I wish I could take back. Because despite the less than ideal outcome, I still feel indebted to someone who did what I asked, an occurrence that very rarely happens.

I set in my mind a June release for the second book, but it seems yet again, everything is getting moved up. Now I’m thinking mid-May. It’s only a change of 14 days but still. It’s not completely ideal, because I’m still not done with the third book. (Enter Macaulay Caulkin face here).

I’m about 3/4 of the way done, but a lot of good things get put in during those months after the first draft is completed, and the pressure of everything has already slowed down the progress of the third book as it is, and now it might have to suffer quality wise if it gets rushed out following the second book. Granted, I’ve started it with a much higher level of quality than the first two, but so many little tidbits emerge while the book is sitting. I just tweaked the second book yesterday in a way that really heightened the overall tension of the story, and it was just a sentence or two, one that didn’t exist one week, two weeks ago. The last thing I want to do is build up this expectation of quality and have the third book be “meh.” And the progress with my subscribers is steady, but I’ve lost a bit of momentum. My request for a review has seemed to trigger more unsubscribes moreso than actual reviews, and I’ve been tweaking my Facebook marketing since only one quarter of the people that request a copy seem to actually be opening the emails to receive the book. It’s a bit too easy for these promotions to get lost in the Spam, I suspect.

Add to that a hellacious amount of adulting I’m supposed to be doing right now that I just don’t have the energy for. I never do, and now I really don’t. Insurance, government stuff, the cost of divorce filings, it’s just a lot. I’m like “not now life, I’m trying to make my dreams come true!” Forget about dressing/feeding my kids, I’ve completely given up on that. I’m just like, “here kids, share this giant bowl of Cheetos.”

Anyways,  yeah. That’s where we’re at. I just gotta keep remembering that this whole thing is like a watched pot. As soon as I step away from it all I find that some great new fruit has shown up on the plant I planted. I find it no coincidence that I released this book right around seed planting season. And early fruit isn’t always the best thing. And I can’t base it on my finances either. I just gotta trust that everything will happen in its proper season.