If you’re pregnant, you’re probably… Wait. First,...

If you’re pregnant, you’re probably… Wait. First, congratulations! Or, I’m sorry.

Now, if you’re pregnant, you’re probably freaking out a bit. Or a lot. When my wife was pregnant with our twins, most of our days were spent silently staring at the wall while our minds were filled with the white noise of panic.

Thank merciful Christ, my pal Jill Krause’s new book, 50 Things To Do Before You Deliver, is available to you. And before I continue, no, it’s not about pizza.

While my debut book told parents to trust their instincts after their little rug rat was born, Jill’s book is literally a how-to on getting important and helpful shit done before said rug rat arrives. And she should know. She has, like, 83 kids.

The whole book is divided into trimesters and the chapters have pragmatic titles like “Research And Enroll In A Birthing Class” and “Stock Food You Can Eat With One Hand.” It even has a handy index to help you skip right to whatever you’re freaking out about at the moment. And the whole book just looks fantastic, too.

(On a side note: Jill and her hubby boldly sold everything and took her family on the road and is documenting the whole adventure on HappyLoudLife.com. Check it out to experience some freedom-envy.)

And trust me, a lot of the stuff she covers in the book will allow you to focus on the flaming train wreck your life becomes after you deliver. Not that I know what that’s like… Uh… Can someone call 911 for me?