Numb to the Feeling

 

 

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My tolerance is going up

and I’m getting numb to the feeling

I’ve been abusing drugs

and I’m getting numb to the feeling

I need you to show me love

coz I’m getting numb to the feeling

I need you to ride me harder when we fuck

coz I’m getting numb to the feeling

-Chase Atlantic, Numb to the Feeling

You drink coffee every morning and suddenly one espresso no longer does the trick. You take Hydrocodone on the daily for your pain and before you know it, you’re in need of a dose increase. If you climb mountains regularly, then each peak will need to be higher and steeper than the last. If you repeat anything long enough, it won’t be long before that substance/activity stops providing the pleasure it once did, and leaves you numb. That high, that joy, that feeling of success–it’ll no longer be there to greet you. What do you do then?

I imagine it happens to everyone. It’s happening to me right now. Much like the calluses on our bare hands and feet from prolonged use. As another year of my life passes, I can’t help but look back, reflect, and wonder how so much has changed so quickly.

Somewhere through the years of the short life I’ve lived, I misplaced my zest for life. I realize I’m not the same person and I wonder why. I wonder why I’m not as happy as I once was. I wonder why the things that used to bring me pleasure now have no effect on me. Is it depression? Do our personalities just take that much damage through the natural trials and tribulations of life? I imagine there’s only so much stress someone can take before who they were becomes unrecognizable.

Or…do some simply develop a tolerance to life?

A tolerance to life.

As another year passes

I turn back to reflect

But I may need glasses

to find what I miss

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Years turn to ashes

second by second

Just like happiness

and life’s zest

But what I’ve realized

is that it’s all about time

and looking forward

Not behind

This life we’re given

Oh so short and brief

Don’t take it for granted

as it could leave in a blink

Travel and explore

Try new things

This whole world is yours

Live it like a dream

 

Hi, everyone! Happy Humpday, and I hope you’re all having a decent week so far. As for me? Eh… I think after the 22nd birthday, it all starts going downhill. Lol.

I could still use some beta readers for a couple short stories I intend to submit to a publishing house. I could also use a few more stops on a blog tour I’m putting together for the release of my mystery novel, The Killed Conscience. If interested in either, please email me at jtantonacci23@gmail.com

Anyway, thanks for reading