The book 'Rust' by Arun D Ellis

Living it Large

The Colonel stopped walking abruptly and turned back to face Ken and Tony.

"I say, you chaps, I'm exhausted, don'cha know. Do you mind having a recce by yourselves?"

Ken shook his head, "Not at all sir, we can manage, can't we, Tony."

That conversation had taken place half an hour ago, and the pair had split up and gone in opposite directions to circumnavigate the house.

Meeting up again outside the front door Tony, by now sweating profusely, unbuckled his flak jacket and put it in the boot of the car. After a few moments thought Ken did likewise.

"What do you think?" he asked.

Thus far they had barely made a dent in the grounds that surrounded the house, let alone the adjoining fields and woods.

Tony said, "We need to get a team up here. We can't search the fields without a heck of a lot of help."

"Nah, the Sarge'll never wear that one," said Ken, "or the Commissioner for that matter, this lot carry some serious clout. We can't mount a full scale search, not without evidence of foul play."

Tony nodded, "Anyway, those two idiots will turn up sooner or later."

"Yeah," said Ken, "reckon you're right, should we just go then?"

"Hold your horses," said Tony, "it's a bit of a cushy number, can't we make it last another hour or two?"

Ken nodded, sunny day, no hassle, "You're on."

"We'd better split up again, make a bit of an effort. I'll go this way," said Tony.

Ken nodded and wandered off in the other direction.

∞

Unbeknownst to the two policemen, Lord Geoffrey's faithful canine companions were holding guard over the Big House and its lands whilst their master was ensconced inside.

The Red Setter, Rusty, leader of the gang, lay on his belly, head between his paws, eyes glued on Tony. Gladstone, an English Bulldog, sat alongside him, snuffling. In an attempt to contain his excitement, Disraeli, a Springer Spaniel, was keeping slightly back from this vigil, standing alert and ready for action when it came.

The three dogs were joined by Cameron, previously the companion of the recently deceased Prince. A terrier of indeterminate breed, she had adopted this pack, and was also silently watching.

As soon as Ken and Tony set off the dogs exited the bushes and ran to sniff the spot where the men had last been standing.

After turning a few excited circles, and with an eager yelp, Rusty was off after Tony. Gladstone followed albeit at a slower pace.

Disraeli watched them go, then had one more sniff to distinguish Ken and motored off, nose firmly rooted to the ground. Cameron jumped up and down on the spot, then scurried off after him.

As the dogs departed in hot pursuit of their prey, an orange Ferrari California raced up the driveway, closely followed by a low-slung red Chevrolet Corvette.

Both cars skidded to a halt, the Ferrari creating a spray of gravel whilst executing a 180◦. The door of the car opened, to reveal the long shapely legs of Wilhelmina Ashington Bledley-Smythe.

The driver of the Corvette, a tall young man with an indeterminate chin, leapt out of his car without opening the door, calling imploringly, "Don't be like that, honeybee."

"Get away from me, Gerald, you absolute pig," snapped Wilhelmina, before turning away from him, her fiancé, Gerald Ponsonby-Trevelyan, and marching off in the same direction Tony had just taken.

"Wilhelmina, dahling?" Gerald said, in a weak voice.
She didn't answer, didn't turn, didn't give him the slightest hope that he hadn't ruined his whole life.

"Bugger," he hissed, then he leapt back into his car and, stamping the accelerator, roared back down the drive.

∞

Meanwhile Tony was peering into a coal bunker. It was cavernous and dark. He called out, feeling stupid for so doing but there was no way he was going in unless absolutely necessary.

"No-one in there," he muttered, closing the door with relief. He was about to walk off when he was arrested by the unexpected but extremely welcome sight of a beautiful girl.

She called over at him, "I say, who the devil are you?"

The sound was not quite in keeping with the sight, but Tony was transfixed. His mouth opened and closed, but before he could find his voice she was at him again.

Clearly not impressed by the uniform she said, "Does my father know you're nosing around the grounds?"

"Your father? Oh, the Colonel...er ...yes he does, miss," said Tony, making the assumption that, however unlikely, this gorgeous girl was the progeny of that dreadful couple he'd just met. "I'm on official business looking for....."

He didn't get any further. The girl smiled at him suddenly and he was lost completely.

For her part, Wilhelmina had just thought of a deliciously naughty way to get back at that beastly Gerald. She would seduce this bloody policeman and to hell with him and the rest of the Ponsonby-Trevelyans.

She looked around, getting her bearings, then pointed, "Over there."

"What?" said Tony, spinning round, expecting to see his missing colleagues.

"Come on," she said, snappily, "over there, that's where we'll do it."

Tony looked confused but followed the autocratic vision as she led the way through an archway into a hidden part of the garden.

She stopped just in front of a rose covered structure he'd seen only in his wife's gardening books. A gazebo she called it.

Wilhelmina stamped to a halt in the centre, her legs spread, "Right, get your clothes off."

"What?"

"Your clothes, uniform...get it off."

"Now see here, Miss..."

Wilhelmina sighed, the initial excitement of the idea was fading fast, "Look I don't have all day, do you want to fuck me or not?"

"Er....er..." was all Tony could muster.

Recognising the need for encouragement, Wilhelmina pulled open her blouse revealing a black and red lace bra that only partially hid voluptuous, lightly tanned breasts.

Tony's enthusiasm rose in an instant. He began to pull at Velcro and buttons.

"Hurry up," snapped Wilhelmina, dropping her skirt.

Tony gulped, then gulped again as Wilhelmina's bra and pants hit the floor.

∞

Ken was in his element.

The sun was shining, the bees buzzing, he was out in the open air. He forgot the ignominy of the Barbie Flak jacket, now languishing in the boot of the patrol car, you couldn't beat a job that gave you so much variety and so many opportunities.

He'd spotted some greenhouses and was beating his way through the weeds to get to them. He was almost upon the nearest of them when a large man loomed up in front of him, out of nowhere, barring his way.

Ken was quite taken aback, he hadn't expected anyone to be in the greenhouse, from what he could see it was literally a jungle of weeds.

"I'm looking..." he squeaked. He paused, coughed, then in as manly a voice as he could muster, said, "I'm looking for two of my colleagues, their last call in came from this estate."

"Reckon you should be speaking to the master of the 'ouse then," said the man.

Ken wondered if this time he would be right in thinking this was the gardener. He decided to make sure, "And you are...?"

The man eyed him, "Did the Colonel say for you to come nosin' round 'ere?"

Ken frowned, "I asked for your name..."
The man leant back and for a moment Ken thought he might be about to hit him, but instead he nodded, "Perkins, the gardener. I'll show you'm round."

He walked off, leaving Ken with no choice but to turn about and follow him.

A few moments later a pink-cheeked Lady Augustine poked her head out of the greenhouse. After checking the way was clear, she scurried out, pulling bits of grass off her skirt as she headed for the main house.

∞

Tony was in his element.

Face buried in Wilhelmina's beautifully full breasts, his loins perfectly conjoined with hers, his hips moving rhythmically. Wilhelmina was making delightful noises that served to increase Tony's enthusiasm for the task at hand. He managed a throaty noise of his own. He felt like a king.

Behind him, eying his moving buttocks, sat Rusty and Gladstone, salivating.

∞

Perkins stopped in front of a giant, foul smelling compost heap.

Ken stood and stared, in awe and consternation, "Shit," he said.

"Yep," agreed Perkins.

Ken looked at him, realised what he'd said and nodded, smiling.

A voice came at him from behind, "Wot you doin' 'ere?"

Ken turned to see another tall man, weather-beaten in a different way than the gardener. Not quite as healthy-looking, Ken decided. A bit shifty, out of place.

"Ah, Sar'nt Reynolds," Perkins greeted the man, but not with any sign of friendship that Ken could see. "This 'ere polis is 'ere lookin' for some other missin' polis, so 'e says."

"And so 'e might be, but 'e ain't gonna find 'em 'ere," said Razza.

"accordin' to 'im, they was 'ere," said Perkins.

"When woz they 'ere?" demanded Razza.

"Are you an army man, Sergeant Reynolds?" said Ken, trying to establish his authority.

Razza ignored the question, but again asked one of his own, addressing Perkins, "If 'you don't know when they was 'ere, 'ow'd 'ya know they's missin'?"

Perkins was clearly enjoying himself, "It b'ain't me as says they is missin', it's 'im."

Ken tried again."Excuse me, Reynolds...is it?"

"Stands to reason," Razza continued, "if there was a couple o' coppers knockin' abaht the place, I'd a come across 'em. Just like I come across you just nah, dint I."

Ken raised his eyebrows and nodded, he had to admit it, Reynolds had come across him.

"Unless they'm under this 'ere compost 'eap," said Perkins, helpfully, "they'm wouldn't be obvious then, would they?"

Razza's heart stopped. Perkins was grinning evilly. Did he know?

"Pr'aps the officer 'ere would loik to 'ave a bit of a dig about, look under it."

Razza resisted the flight adrenalin now coursing through his veins. Ken looked horrified at the idea.

Seeing this Razza relaxed, saying, "'e might well at that, Perkins. You'd best get 'im a shovel."

Abruptly Perkins burst out laughing. Razza theatrically bent double at the joke.

Ken made a face, "Yeah, very funny, ok," he said.

A terrifying scream rent the air.

Ken unclipped his Taser and raced off towards the noise, leaving Perkins and Razza staring after him.

∞

Ken skidded round the corner of the house just in time to see two dogs burst out of the bushes and scurry off towards the house.

He blinked and saw Tony, his trousers round his ankles and his truncheon in his hand.
As he hobbled past the open-mouthed Ken his naked buttocks came into view, blood trickling down from what looked like savage bite marks.

Ken had no time to ponder the origin of the bites; a completely naked, very attractive young woman came running into view, her breasts bobbing delightfully. She was holding various items of clothing across her lower body in the vain hope of concealment.

Transfixed, Ken was unable to decide what to do, should he go to Tony's assistance or should he help the young lady with her attire.

It was precisely at this moment that Disraeli and Cameron chose to launch their own attack, flying out of the bushes, barking wildly and clamping, one each, onto Ken's ankles.

He screamed and tried to fire his Taser at his attackers. Unbalanced, with the dogs pulling and tearing at his trousers, his aim went high.

The volt- carrying barb shot through the open library window and struck Cadger, the 70 year old much loved and revered African Grey, killing him in an instant.

"What in blue blazes?" shouted Lord Geoffrey, woken from his drug-induced sleep, "Max,
Augustine....some scoundrel killed Cadger, get me gun."

∞

Five minutes later Ken and Tony were safely locked in the patrol car, Ken in the driver's seat and Tony in the back, his naked backside in the air.

Disraeli and Cameron were jumping about outside, hurling themselves at the car.

"Get me to a hospital," wailed Tony.

"Shit, shit, shit," Ken was blaring the horn repeatedly, hoping to get the dogs to move.

The Colonel appeared at the front entrance, calling out a command to the dogs. They obeyed on an instant and slunk into the house.

"Oh god, it hurts so much. I've probably got rabies.
Those fucking dogs, I think they've left some teeth in me, oh god."

"Listen," said Ken, putting the car in gear and driving away, "we can't report this. I mean, what the hell did you think you were doing with that girl?"

"Ow, ow.. it hurts, what do you think? Ow, don't give me grief..get me to a hospital."

"We'll just say we searched the place and didn't find anything," said Ken, "that'll do it."


Cheers

Arun








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