The words that work

We're bad at empathy. As a result, when we're arguing a point with someone, we tend to use words and images that work on us, not necessarily that help the other person.

So, if you want to understand how to persuade someone, listen to how they try to persuade you.

For example, one partner in a conversation might use concepts like power and tradition and authority to make a case, while the other might rely on science, statistics or fairness. One person might argue with tons of emotional insight, while someone else might bring up studies and peer reviews.

What they're actually doing is talking about things in the way they like to hear them.