Time alone with my thoughts...

Good morning, everyone!!!

​Sometimes in life you just need to be alone with your thoughts. That's where I've been for the last week. It's no one's fault, just things have happened that required some deep thinking on my part. 

​When a young person dies in this world it can be hard to accept. When that person is someone who has been a part of your life for a short time, but their world impacted your own, well, it makes it harder to understand.

​I went to a funeral Saturday afternoon for a young person I only knew through working at my store. It was sad to see that even though in life we only knew each other through this casual meetings that I knew more about her day to day than some of those who should have been closer to her.

I left there with a heavier heart than I went with. 

​It is sad when such an energetic life has been snuffed out. Someone who walked into a room like a whirlwind could actually no longer walk into that room. But to sit back and listen to people talk of their memories and struggle to find words to describe their time with this force, was saddening.

​I spent the day yesterday cleansing of the bad energy I enveloped on Saturday. I texted my sisters to thank them for being my sisters. Knowing I had sisters who have memories they could share with others of not just our childhood, but also so many memories we share still. Even if we can't be together every day.

​I'm thankful for a mother who would not have to be asked to sit with family, but one who would be sitting right there knowing it was the last time to sit at my side. 

​What in life could be so horrible? What in life would split a family in such a way? 

​Lord knows our family is not perfect by any means, but at the end of the day they would still be there. Of this I am positive.

​I noticed for someone so young there were so little there to pay their last respects. Then when the time came to respect the family, so many walked out the door without a second glance leaving the family standing up there all alone. Not many went forward to say, "I'm sorry for your loss," like there should have been. 

​This really shook me to my core. Where is the unconditional love? Where is the respect for the dead? 

​When the husband is so proud of the local store's people who came to pay their respect, introducing the women to family members. We should have been just people who came to show their respect. But we made an impact by being there. 

​I was the last one in our store to wait on this young lady. I felt the deep gut impact when I came across the scene of the crash that took her life only hours later. But I am not the only one in our store who will miss her coming in for her pop, her chocolate covered donut with sprinkles, her menthol 72s, and her number 24. I'm not the only one who will miss that ball of energy walking through our doors, loud and ready to take on the world. I'm not the only one who will miss her passion for life or her cocky way of telling it like it is.

​I don't know why death affects me this way. But it does. I over think it to the extreme sometimes. I know now why she required me to mourn for her after being present for her funeral. We all deserve to have those we leave behind to mourn us no matter what. 

​Fly high with the angels, Marti!!! You will be missed and you were deeply loved by those who understood you.

Everyone have a lovely day!!!

​Blessings to all!!!










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