The Fab Five and then Some….
I am beginning to hate the front door on my house. It seems to be a portal to sadness. I love to see your faces walk through with your bags full for the next few days, but when the day comes and I have to watch the back of your heads walking toward your car, my heart breaks. I want to seal up that doorway that leads to both happiness and to extreme sadness so I can protect myself. After I closed the door with you all on the other side and driving away from me, I sat down on the chair in the living room and wondered if I was going to cry. It did not take long for my old friends, the tears, to show up and answer my question. I inhaled deeply and as dramatically as I could possibly be, I put on “Sam Smith’s Palace”, and I once again began to roam the halls of my now empty house. I went from room to room and noticed all the beds have been made, all but one. I walked in each room and as I opened the blinds, Sam Smith was singing in my ear “ My head is full of ruins, most of them built with you, now the dust no longer moves, don’t disturb the ghost of you”. Like I said I was dramatic. But as moved through the rooms, I found things left behind. The rule is usually what you leave behind is now mine, but as soon as I can, I will send off the things I have discovered. (But no pink phone charger? Anyone??) After the tour of reminiscing the past five days was over, I again sat back down and replayed the time I spent with each one of you. I suddenly felt sad looking over at my broken oven. Sad that I can’t cook or bake very well. I am not a chef or a baker. I am merely a writer. Although I can’t fill your stomachs with food, I can attempt to fill your amazing hearts with my words. As I thought of what I wanted to say to each of you, I began to clean. It is difficult to do because after the house is clean and the dust is gone, the evidence that each one of you have been here will be gone with it. So I decided to write. To express. To hopefully feel better about you all leaving. To each of you I write a personal note. I hope at the end of this article, you each know how much I love and truly care about you in your own way….
M: From the days of babysitting and leaving hot pizza boxes on my table, through today, I have watched you grow into such an amazing man. The decisions and choices that have lead you to who you are today were brave ones. You have grown and matured so much it is impressive. From the football field, to the sitting in the stands while you let me smell your Chick Fil A while I was competing, I always knew you had a huge heart. I enjoyed getting to know you as a “man” these past few days. I loved having you here. Talking. Laughing. Reminiscing. I am grateful you happened into my life. You have made me a better person. Thank you for letting me stay in your life and I can’t wait to see what your future brings. Open your heart to possibilities. Listen to your gut. Let your light shine so bright that the people around you need to wear sunglasses. I am so proud of you and you are loved so very much.
Z: My spirit animal…..You are truly awesome. I had this image of you in my head that I created from social media. I lived though you for a long time and you have impressed me with your freedom. As you know I was in a relationship that nearly killed me, so to me freedom and feeling safe are two of the most valuable things I need in my life. From you, I get both. You should know, the freedom you have lived in your life, helped me on the road to finding my own. After a very short two days I realized every aspect of the image I had created of you was accurate, with additional bonuses to who you are as a human. So funny. Like hilarious. Protective. A great story teller, with amazing commentary. And your dancing. I love it. I saw sides to you I didn’t know existed until recently. I feel a bond between us. I am unsure of why. Maybe it’s because you chat a lot, maybe because you are a part of my story in my book, or if it’s simply your personality. Either way, I will always be here if you ever need anything. If your compus ever gets lost, broken, or stolen, just know all roads lead to my house. Make the next right decision, and everything will be OK.
H: You were here for a few hours. But a great few hours. I am grateful for snapchat. Otherwise I would have no idea what is going on in your life. You are such a great kid, us middles have to stick together. It’s a real thing!!! My advice, spend time with your siblings. Learn from them and accept them for who they are. They are some of the best people I have ever met!!
E: Ahhhhhh…it was so awesome to have you stay for a few days. You don’t talk too much but luckily for both of us I totally do. Although you missed out on lights last night, I still had so much fun with you. I am so proud of you for following your dreams and doing what you feel is right in your heart. This world truly needs more humans like you in it. My wish for you is to never forget who you are. To live life boldly. Follow your heart and your gut. Take your girlfriend to see Christmas lights and nourish all the relationships in your life. I am blessed to have you in my life. You inspire me to do better. You are loved so very much!!! If you do anything in your life, never change.
L: OMG I LOVE YOU! Talk about adding value to someone’s life. I have gotten through some tough stuff only because you were by my side. Summer ‘17 will go down in my history books because I made memories with you that I would not trade for anything. We built a relationship that is solid and I promise you that I will never take you or it for granted. You have made some decisions on your own that make me so proud. Go. Go on that journey of both self discovery and helping others that need you. I needed you in my life and now it is time for you, in a way, to move on and be a blessing for so many others in the same way you were a blessing for me. While you’re gone, I will carry you in my heart and keep you there until I no longer can. You mean so very much to me. Also, what are we college?
“Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved” ~ Winnie the Pooh
