The Fiver | Something sinister: a striker who is obsessed with scoring goals

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It’s hard to know who’s had a worse week: bald fraud Pep Guardiola or bald-faced fraud Harry Kane. The two will meet at Wembley on Saturday, when Harry Kane Team face Pep Team in the Premier League. The Fiver thought Kane was a nice guy, but this week he has been exposed as something sinister, something chilling: a striker who is obsessed with scoring goals. In Monday’s Fiver: a horrific tale of the diabolical magnate who liked money.

Related: Harry Kane will learn from his mauling on social media, says Pochettino

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