What’s Next?
Recently I stepped away from a project that was right up my alley: challenging, time-consuming, and interesting—plus it paid me. You might wonder why I did that and I’m inclined to tell you because I could use some support (and maybe some advice).
As most of you know, I have run my own business for over thirty years, traveled the country and I’ve written and published a couple of books in my ‘spare’ time. (My children left home long ago so if you’re thinking you should be able to do all that and raise children, you’ll have to get your advice on how to do that from someone else.)
Anyway, when I took on this project, I was awe-struck by how difficult it was for me to let someone else give me instructions on how to do things, which is what it required. I thought I could easily slip back into being an employee but I couldn’t bear it. I lost sleep because I so wanted to continue to do things with the freedom I was used to that I couldn’t stand it. It got really bad, so I resigned.
Leaving that project has left me with something I’m not sure what to do with–free time. Now I’m doubly awe-struck by the shock of having time on my hands. It’s the biggest challenge I’ve faced—ever.
I’m always busy. My parents raised me to have a mission and a purpose which I embraced. Almost nothing is more fun for me than having too much to do (unless someone else wants to control it as in the case referenced above). Has anyone felt this way or is it just me? Am I crazy?
Thankfully, I still have my consulting business that I love and it keeps me somewhat occupied; I still have books to write, and that keeps my somewhat occupied—but I’ve never really felt like I had much of a choice about what I’m going to do with my time and that’s darned uncomfortable.
I know people who can’t wait for retirement; I’m dreading it. I know retirees who are loving their freedom; I’m having panic attacks. What do people do when they have options? I’m practicing mindfulness, reading about living in the present moment, and taking supplements to calm me down. (Magnesium has been recommended and seems to help.) I’m watching what I eat, exercising, and trying to comprehend a dilemma I never thought I would have to face. I haven’t reached the point where getting the mail is the highlight of my day but..when my books get finished I might take up screen play writing or acting. Or see a therapist. Maybe all of the above?
Vivian!
The post What’s Next? appeared first on Vivian Probst.
