Twit Or Tweet?
Talking of 'Trick or Treat', which I know I wasn't (but nonetheless realising that it will soon be upon us was part of the chain of thought that resulted in the title of this post, which is probably evidence of my lowbrow mentality, and also evidence of a tendency to get distracted by trivial linguistic things which I find amusing - like the fact that I have to tweezer the hairs from between my eyebrows to avoid the Neanderthal 'onebrow' look and whether tweezer is a legitimate verb - a consequence of which is that I tend to forget what my objectives were, and, oh, errrm...where was I? Oh yes...'Trick or Treat'), I wanted to say something about false dichotomies.
At this point, you've got two options. You can either continue reading this awesome article, or stop right now and miss out on the experience of a lifetime.
Okay..daft example and rather easy to spot. Obviously you have more than just those two options. You could, for example, read it later, then put up link to it as a Facebook status update because you think it is either interesting or amusing (which is, of course, another false dichotomy, right? Well, technically no, although it uses a similar method to achieve a desired outcome).
False dichotomies are used to manipulate people's thinking processes by presenting only two exclusive choices when in fact there are other possibilities. Heaven, or Hell? A fine example if ever there was one. But wait! You're forgetting about purgatory (I hear the Catholics say). That's a third possibility. Well, disregarding the fact that I've never heard of anyone choosing purgatory (or even having it offered as a choice), the addition of other choices, over and above the two of a true false dichotomy, does not mean that the manipulative technique of a false dichotomy is not being used.
Think of those multiple choice surveys commissioned by companies supposedly to elicit feedback. You know, the kind that goes something like this:
Please select one answer.a) I have used XYZ and it is the only company I will consider using.
b) I have used XYZ and it is my first choice, although I might consider others.
c) I have used XYZ and it is one of several companies I would consider.
d) I have not used XYZ but would consider doing so.
e) I have not used XYZ.
I doubt they really fool anyone. I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks there should be at least one more option:
f) I won't use XYZ because they've got their head up their corporate arse.
Unfortunately, false dichotomies (or false dilemmas, as the multi-choice versions are sometimes called) are often used perniciously, for more serious objectives than XYZ's self-aggrandisement. "You're either with us, or against us!" can have terrible consequences when the one, or ones, uttering those words don't hesitate to use violence to achieve their aims. In such situations it would probably not be wise to challenge the use of a false dichotomy!
In other, more normal situations, that's exactly what we should do. Me, I discard that survey. I don't submit it. Those few loyalty points, or whatever the bribe may be, is not something I'll compromise my integrity for. When we hear someone using the technique, we should call them out on it:
"Hey! That's a false dichotomy!"
Not feeling that assertive? At the very least, ask questions:
"Are you saying there are no other options?"
"Can you think of no other options other than those you've presented?"
Fight back. That's what us or'nary folk can do. It doesn't hurt to be a little ornery, in the right circumstances.
In the words of someone who I will allegedly spend time with after my death (according to at least one of the Heaven Or Hell False Dichotomy Brigade):
"Be the change you want to see in the world."
It'll be too late after you're dead.
Charlie Sheen image based on one at 9xb, who describe themselves as a Full Service Digital Agency. The original image can be found in this blog article.
