30 Tongue in Cheek Phases of Writing a Book

 Phases of Writing a BookWarning: Not every writer goes through all these stages. I’ve survived most of them, but I’m only at number 21. If I don't focus, it's easy to be derailed. Anyway, if you tend to have martyr tendencies, you can power through this list too! Good luck. Oh, and don’t say I didn’t warn you.
I'm in a jolly phase, because I see the light.
1.       Excitement( short-lived)2.       Research--May result in  pain near frontal lobe3.       Doubt—Sugar surges--donut cravings.4.       Extraordinary dog walking. Fetch? Of course.5.       Anger.Tissues and tears phase6.       Depression/Overthinking7.       Burning of sage8.       Critique group jitters9.       Bargaining/Negotiating with God10.   The Shakes (Possibly from massive amounts of coffee)11.   More research and napping12.   Grammar check shock13.   Mystic chanting and mumbling of prayers14.   Worry. Nail biting-hair loss15.   Editing/proofing

Small notes to remind me where I left off.

16.   Obsessive house cleaning or moving furniture around-Tub scrubbing17.   Shopping for rope or shoes18.   Gambling/Alcohol/Drugs19.   Laundry/Compulsive vacuuming/ironing20.   Gardening/Manic weed pulling21.   Pin light at end of tunnel jollies 22.   Distribution concerns/Extra food intake23.   Loves me—Loves me not—Beta readers24.   Gaming, crocheting or redecorating as a distraction25.   Marketing worries/ Fasting-diet-copious amounts of water26.   More editing. Arguments with self, editor and characters27.   Acceptance-Hope. Blog updating28.   Final Draft/ Removing was and exclamation points!29.   The query letter and Fifty shaded, mysterious steps to publishing30.   The Cover reveal party. Hooray!



-Signed, your exhausted friend, Eve