And Jesus Said, WTF DUDE!?

Cherry-picked for your convenience!
This keeps coming up, and rather than re-write the same argument over and over, I’m putting it here so I can more quickly reference.
This meme is making the rounds and while the Bible quote is correct, it is also cherry-picked completely out of context.  Jesus explains his reasoning for buying swords in the next line, which, for some unfathomable reason, always gets left out. After ordering the purchase of the weapon, Jesus says:
"It is written: ‘An...