Hang on There, Partner

Good morning and welcome to Monday Blogs. Today, as part of my discussions on the writing process, I’m going to address a growing problem I see with commas.
Now, the poor comma has seen some really ugly discussions of late. Memes on Facebook and Twitter advise of the different ways to use commas. The most popular are explained below…
The Standard Comma: I fought off an attack by Sue, Bob and George. This is one of the most used comma patterns and is acceptable in most situations. However, there have been heated discussions between the Standard Comma and our next example…
The Oxford Comma: I fought off an attack by Sue, Bob, and George. Ah, the Oxford Comma. To be honest, I prefer the oxford comma in most situations, unless it’s necessary to show that Bob and George aren’t fighting the same way as Sue. Then it’s perfectly fine to use the standard comma.
Much to my surprise, the way celebrities speak has now become ways to use a comma. This method has led to many, many questions and even poor comma usage by authors. For example…
The Walken Comma, named for actor Christopher Walken. You know, A, B, and C, they came, to my house? First of all, my editor brain is screaming for relief. We have dramatic pauses and far more commas in this sentence than are necessary. Also, this should be two sentences, one a question and the other a statement. In a perfect world, where everyone doesn’t mess up their grammar, we’d see this sentence written in this manner: You know A, B, and C? They came to my house.
I do hope you’re ready for the next celebrity inspired comma grouping. Personally, it makes my head hurt every time I see it. I want to scream at the person, demanding they tell me just where they learned their grammar. I’m sure more than a few Grammar Cops have fallen out with migraines when they see this one.
I’m talking about the Shatner Comma, named for Star Trek actor William Shatner. Please bear with me. Don’t lose your senses. This will hurt.
You, know, A, B, and, C, they, came, to, my, house?
Yes, you’ve just read that, with a pause for uber-dramatic effect after every single word. Mr. Shatner is an actor and paid to create special emphasis on words. However, the ordinary human being needs to avoid the Shatner Comma, even if they’re attempting to show a pause between words. Use an ellipse. That’s the proper grammatical tool.
This brings us to the new trend I’ve seen authors doing. It’s far uglier than the last two examples. In fact, it’s so wrong and obvious to most experienced authors, I wonder how it ever became a thing.
Lately, I’ve seen many instances of authors putting a comma between the subject and verb of a sentence. It will go something like this…
Laura, walked into the room. She, hated what she had to do next.
Personally, I think this should belong with its own hashtag - #editorhorror. After all, we all know you never separate a subject and verb. That’s an inviolate rule of writing. One of those rules you never, ever break for any reason at all. But these new authors appear to like putting commas between the subject and verb.
Believe me when I say, you will never have a contract offered you by a publisher if you continue to make this horrible grammatical error.



About K.C. Sprayberry
Born and raised in Southern California’s Los Angeles basin, K.C. Sprayberry spent years traveling the United States and Europe while in the Air Force before settling in northwest Georgia. A new empty nester with her husband of more than twenty years, she spends her days figuring out new ways to torment her
She’s a multi-genre author who comes up with ideas from the strangest sources. Those who know her best will tell you that nothing is safe or sacred when she is observing real life. In fact, she considers any situation she witnesses as fair characters and coming up with innovative tales from the South and beyond. game when plotting a new story.

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