Real Life Diagnostics: Does This Prologue Work?

Critique By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

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Submissions currently in the queue: Four

Please Note: As of today, RLD slots are booked through April 28.

This week’s questions:

I'm taking the plunge and sending you the first page of my Prologue for your critique. With respect to our previous correspondence regarding Prologues, I fear that maybe all your red flag warnings apply. However, because of the 26-year time lapse, I don't see how I can bring this into the main body of the novel without interrupting with extensive back-story and flashbacks. So, my questions (based on your four Prologue triggers) would be:

1. Does this opening work?

2. Would you continue reading?

3. Would you stay with the story if you knew this narrator is not the main POV character but nevertheless an important character who helps drive the plot?

4. Would you invest your time and energy reading a prologue knowing the actual story takes place 26 years and a generation later?

5. What, if any, are your expectations from this opening?

Market/Genre: Mainstream fiction

On to the diagnosis…

Read more »Written by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com