Bodkin Arrows and Other Lovely, Lethal Objects

My lovely wife gave me an English longbow for Christmas.  (This woman gets me!)

I have a quiver of arrows for my new longbow, and the arrows are not designed for hunting deer or splitting the Sheriff of Nottingham’s arrow on a target.  No, my arrows are all “bodkin-tipped.”  Bodkin arrows are not very accurate, but they don’t need to be.  They are designed to pierce armor.  In the Middle Ages, longbowmen would stand behind the army and fire these bodkin arrows high into the air.  The arrows would then rain down upon the enemy army, punching through armor and shields.  In short, these arrows are designed to kill people.  And they were very effective.  They fulfilled the measure of their creation.

Over the years, my wife has given me many medieval weapons, usually at Christmas.  These include swords, maces, war hammers (which are actually unsuited to the purpose of hammering in a nail), a halberd, spears, daggers, and axes.  (And shields, helms, breastplates, gauntlets, etc.)  With the exception of the official Heron-Mark Sword from Robert Jordan’s “The Wheel of Time” which is a fantasy piece, and three pieces that are actually of ancient origin, these weapons are all historically accurate, battle-ready beauties.  (Even the Heron-Mark is battle-ready.)  They are all very sharp (except for the maces and hammers, of course) and extremely lethal.  These weapons were created for one purpose and one purpose only—to kill.

I teach classes on medieval weaponry at Renaissance faires, Celtic festivals, and writers’ conferences.  The purpose of these classes is three-fold:

To inspire a love of history—there are few things to compare with the light in a child’s eyes as he or she gets to hold an actual sword (under parental supervision, of course);
To help authors choose weapons for their characters and to describe the use of those weapons accurately in their stories (otherwise you get eleven-year-olds wielding 3-foot-long bronze swords, which is blatantly impossible, because bronze is HEAVY and BRITTLE);
To teach that there are real consequences when using lethal force and there is a very high price paid by the brave men and women who stand between us and the forces of tyranny.

You see, swords are COOL.  We love to read about swords and sword-fighting.  We watch “The Princess Bride” and are thrilled to see the Dread Pirate Roberts (a.k.a. Wesley) fighting Inigo Montoya in an improbably long and unlikely hand-switching rapier ballet.  We love to see Robin Hood splitting the Sheriff of Nottingham’s arrow.  And while we indulge in the fantasy of “The Three Musketeers” or the dramatic sword battles on “Highlander: The Series,” the reality of armed combat is that it is quite gruesome.  And life is not like a video game—there no floating hearts to give you extra lives, there is no reset button, and you don’t get to go back to the last save-point when you die.

People often ask me, “If someone came into your home and threatened you and your family, what sword would you grab?”  And I reply, “My Smith & Wesson 9mm.”  Because, if someone threatens my family in my home, I will use lethal force.  But if I can’t make it to my (legally obtained) handgun, I know exactly which sword I’d grab.  And I would not hesitate to use it.

But I have never actually used one of my weapons to kill (or even to deter).  And I hope that I will never be in a situation where I would need to thrust my Roman gladius into an intruder’s gut.

Now, according to some folks who want to take away my right to own weapons (most of whom walk about with armed bodyguards), once they get my gun, they’re going to have to come after my swords too.  Because, after all, why do I NEED a sword?  Consider, however, that in the UK, where it is virtually impossible for a private citizen to own a firearm, knife violence is epidemic.  It seems that if you are intent on committing murder, being unable to legally obtain a gun is no deterrent.  (Did you know that the flail—and yes, I have one—started out as an agricultural implement used to thresh grain?  Tell that to the King of the Nazgul!)

So I will go on collecting weapons, writing about them in my novels, and teaching about them to wide-eyed children, youth, and adults.  In short, I will go on amassing objects that exist for one purpose—to kill people.  Why?  I certainly don’t NEED to own a single sword, much less dozens of them.  (There are over 80 pieces in my arsenal.)  So why?  Because I WANT to, because I think they’re cool.

And I have news for the Al Sharptons of the world.  If you come to take away my swords, be warned—I now have a longbow.