Real Life Diagnostics: Do You Feel Grounded in This YA Fantasy Opening?

Critique By Maria D'Marco

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Four

Please Note: As of today, RLD slots are booked through April 21.

This week’s questions:

1. Does this opening provide enough context for those who haven’t read the main story? Do you feel grounded?

2. How’s the pacing? Do I drag it too long?

3. What impression do you have of the MC? Does her voice come through? Do you feel connected to her?

4. Would you read on?

5. Since English is my third language, does anything strike you weird/funny?

Market/Genre: YA Fantasy

On to the diagnosis…
Read more »Written by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com