Wishlist by RM Greenaway

Apologies for the late posting.
My excuses are: The new phonenew iPhone (yesterday)minor issues with new iPhoneplaying with new iPhone features (great slo-mo)celebrating new iPhone last night with some martinis and a game of dartsforgettingThe question this week is:
Make a bullet list of your ideal writing-related expenses. Must jibe with the themes of your books. And must be funny.
I'll have to leave funny to everybody else, and be blunt:

If I had some rich patron cover my writing expenses I'd:...