My New Favorite Thing: Gigolos

Um ok, how have I NEVER seen Gigolos on Showtime until now?! Alright, me not having Showtime might factor into it, but finally I have seen the insane glory that is Gigolos.  It's basically a porny reality show about Las Vegas male escorts, all of whom seem to have stock in Mystic Tan.

Keep in mind, I found it nearly impossible to find a guy to have a G-rated date filmed for Downtown Girls. But Showtime managed to find women who are willing to get nailed on camera. I mean…

But the real thrill off the show is the absolute freakshow gigolos themselves. Let's take a look:

VIN:

Pick a race, will you please?

 




STEVE:

Ok, he's actually pretty hot. I'd do him. Would I pay to do him? HAHAHAHAH! No. God no. Mostly because he has this weird voice that makes him sound like he's either deaf or missing all his back teeth.

 




NICK:

"Hi I'm a desperate woman with $700 to blow and a penchant for wiggers in Affliction shirts, what do you have for me?" That would be Nick. He is an aspiring rapper (of course) and has a very shiny chain wallet. I mean, how could he not charge for his company??

BRACE:

The name alone is enough to make me demand a refund, but the white-blonde hair and saddle-colored skin makes him look like a film negative. Pauly D, say hello to yourself in 15 years.

The One Who Looks Like He Has AIDS:

I'm not sure what this guys name is, I don't think he actually has one. He's clearly the go-to for chicks with Ethopian and/or Dawson's Creek fetishes.

I'm so hooked.