The book 'Corpalism' by Arun D Ellis

Extract below

Tea with the Vicar

The Reverend took his seat and smiled gently at Patrick. Patrick smiled nervously back, he was always afraid of being in the presence of those of the cloth, a legacy of his youth.

“Hello Reverend,” said Delores sweeping into the room “to what do we owe the pleasure?”

“Good morning Delores, how are you?”
Delores smiled, “I’m fine, I’m just wondering… is this business or a social call?”

“Well I don’t like to look at it like that,” said the Reverend, “but I guess you could say I’m here in my capacity as your local vicar.”

“Business then” said Delores, settling herself into an armchair and leaning forward.

“Just to see how you are,” he murmured, “after your recent terrible experiences….”

“What terrible experiences?”

“Well…” started the vicar.

“Delores,” said Patrick, “the Reverend is only being nice.”

“Of course he is,” said Delores, “forgive me Reverend, I get a bit touchy about it all, you know.”
“Of course, I think anybody would.”

“Why?” asked Delores.

“Well…well, because of what happened to you.”

“What happened to me?” She was beginning to enjoy herself.

“Delores,” said David, entering the room, “be nice.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just that nothing happened to me, at least, nothing I can remember anyway.”

“Nothing coming back to you at all?” asked the vicar.

“No,” said Delores, “it’s like I’ve told everyone; I don’t really feel like any of this is real.”

“Ah,”

“It’s just the craziest of daydreams.”

“Right,” Bewilderment was apparent in his tone and echoed in the expression on his face; there was an uncomfortable pause then he tried again. “I’ve seen you TV talking about some of your …erm…”

“Some of my views,” offered Delores.

“Quite, and they’re very interesting.”

David intervened with an offer of refreshment, “something to drink, Reverend?” and Patrick scuttled away to rustle up some food. Undeterred, Delores continued without pause.

“How d’you mean, ‘very interesting’?”

“Some of the things you have to say about the system and the distribution of wealth, Delores …I can see where you are coming from, in that regard.”

“Thank you,” said Delores, “it’s always good to have the support of the church.” She accompanied the words with her customary dazzling smile and toss of the fabulous hair.

“Oh, yes, of course,” he was a man first, Reverend second and the man was flustered, “well… I’m not the church per se, you understand, I’m just speaking on my own behalf, how I understand what you’re saying and where you’re coming from, if you know what I mean.”

“Of course, Reverend, I know you’re not committing the church to your personal views.”

‘Reverend’, he loved her inflections, almost an endearment, he cleared his throat, “of course, well erm…I’m glad you understand, but you do have my personal support, as I say.” Delores smiled. “The world has indeed become a terrible place, a place of greed and division.”

“Indeed,” said Delores, “and what is the church intending to do about it, vicar?”

The Reverend gulped. David returned with the drinks; orange juice for Delores, tea for the vicar no sugar and black coffee for himself and Patrick, they needed to stay alert. Patrick was still making the food, taking as much time as he could even to the extent of cutting off the crusts on the sandwiches.

“Do about it? Well, the church is always striving to even out inequalities,” he offered, fiddling with his cup and saucer.

“Is it?” asked Delores, “is it really, vicar?”

“Can’t think what’s keeping, Patrick.” David said loudly.

“Well yes, Delores, that’s what the church is all about.”

“Is that what the church is all about?” said Delores, “because to tell the truth, I always thought the church was about taking from the poor, whilst encouraging them to accept their lot.”

“No, no, no…Delores, how can you say something like that? The church is the embodiment of Christ our Lord.”

“Really…? I thought it was the church that gave Jesus to the Romans in the first place.”

“No, that was the Hebrews, it was the Hebrew Sanhedrin who gave Jesus to the Romans, and Christianity came from Jesus.”

“Oh, I thought we got the bible and Christianity from the Romans, at least the bits they wanted to leave in and that the church’s only role was to maintain the status quo.”

“Maintain the..?” he spluttered.

Patrick walked in with a tray of sandwiches, saw the look on David’s face and turned on his heel, taking the tray with him.

“Yes,” said Delores, “maintain the status quo, between rich and poor.”

“No, the church is there to help the needy and to protect them.”

“And to encourage them to accept their lot in life.”

“No, no, you have it all wrong Delores… I think it’s lucky you haven’t touched too much on the church yet in any of your interviews,” he said, sort of half laughing.

“You’re right,” said Delores, “I haven’t really touched on the church… yet.”

The vicar froze.


Cheers

Arun