The Santino Hassell of it all

[image error]


 


I feel the need to explain some stuff and express some opinion in regards of this most recent fallout. I also want to point out a glaring elephant in the room.  A conversation, not a debate, not a flame war, not anything but a calm conversation needs to happen in regard to what’s happening inside the genre and how to go forward.


There are no men in m/m romance who make that kind of money but 1 or 2.

That’s it.

This isn’t us.

We didn’t do this.

This isn’t somehow related to us other than us being used to excuse bad behavior from those who are ultimately responsible.

Josh Lanyon wasn’t a man.

Hassel, come to find out, wasn’t a man.

I’ve read trans male work – their work is masculine in tone. You can read it in their work.

Gay men aren’t out here deceiving you. We’re not out here making boat tons of money or asking for donations for make-believe illnesses.

We’re not so caught up in the small amount of fame that m/m brings that we need to get a street team together to shut down inquiring minds or boycott authors.

Why?

Because we’re not that popular.

This isn’t us.

This was about sales.

This was about deception.

This was about cruelty.

This was about infidelity to the readers.

This was about throwing gay men under the bus.


This isn’t about misogyny internalized or otherwise.

This was women being shitty to women and there’s no excuse. This is was someone, a woman, who catfished – the worst being a young gay man named Noah who Hassel got close to, pretended a relationship with, only to turn around and write about his experiences without telling him which is sexually manipulative and abusive.  Apparently, he wasn’t the only one.


And the hassell of it all, is, that this was about turf. At the end of the day, that’s what this was about. This was a turf war. It was about money.


They’d made a brand. They sold the brand. Then they made damn sure that the brand couldn’t be brought down by being a wolf in sheep’s clothing.


Y’all gotta stop following these authors like they’re God and you’re their disciple.

This a person.

Sure he/she may be a talented author.

Sure, they write stuff that makes your heart feel things.

Yet at the end of the day, this is a person and these cults of personality spring up around a person and it becomes crazy to see when so said person falls from grace. 

And it happens EVERY. FREAKING. TIME.

Read a book, enjoy the book, review the book, and move on.

There are popular people who act shitty and do bad things and then they do good things.

There are unknown people who do good things and fuck up once…

mostly, there are just people being people.

I get having to write under a pen name.

Some people can’t expose who they are or what they do for a living because of conflicts of interest or personal issues.

That being said, always take a person online with some measure of suspicion unless you know that person personally.

I feel bad for anyone who got hurt. I feel bad for people who may have sent people money in a catfish scam.

There are some really tender hearted folks out there who mean to do the best.

Then again there are people out there who prey on this very thing.

They make the reader/ fan feel special and so the reader/ fan wants to do something special or important for them.

Yet you do. You read their books, you review their books, and share with friends.

That’s a lot, already.

If someone requests money for a certain thing or asks help with a certain thing, they doggone better be able to validate who they are to ensure people that they’re not into scamming others out of their hard-earned money.

IF what is being said is true, it’s pretty despicable yet not all the fault can be laid at this person’s feet.

This has happened way too many times for people to be shocked.

Stop falling for it.


 

19 likes ·   •  6 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on March 09, 2018 15:50
Comments Showing 1-6 of 6 (6 new)    post a comment »
dateUp arrow    newest »

Ije the Devourer of Books I think your words are very sobering but true. I am not a gay man. I sit on the board of http://www.bisialimifoundation.org working with others so that LGBT people in Nigeria and elsewhere can live in freedom.

When something like this happens I always wonder what this is truly about. It isnt about the lives of LGBT people. Sometimes I wonder what my gay friends would think if they knew about the things that happen to mm readers. I enjoy reading mm romance but I dont see myself as being part of the mm community. I will stick with my LGBT activist friends and try and hold on to what is real.


message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

Yup! Gay & bi men make so little off our stories, but straight women are out here raking in the dough. I know cishet female m/m readers who actually refuse to read #ownvoices stories. They want our lives, filtered through a straight lens. And then even when one of us DOES break the mold, get popular, and give the rest of us a ray of hope? ...it turns out to be one of them, catfishing as one of us.

This genre and industry is so exhausting sometimes.


message 3: by Mel (last edited Mar 10, 2018 06:09AM) (new)

Mel I think a conversation is good and I believe many of us will learn from this experience.

What I don't like about your post, though, is that you imply that it was the women's/victims' own fault for being taken advantage of or that they had it coming. I don't like this kind of argument at all.


message 4: by Daniela (new)

Daniela Green I've read that people send him/her money and gifts. I think those people are stupid. How can you send money to someone you don't know? That's the point. People think that because they read someone's books and interact with him on the web, they know him. This is wrong on so many levels, that I can't even begin to describe it. So ok, these people are good hearted. But stupid, too. Wanna give away your money? Start with someone in need that you know in real life,


message 5: by Andrea (new)

Andrea I hate users but I also love books. My friends are people I know and authors are people who write books. I have no desire to mix the two. I just want to appreciate their writing and know when the next book is being released. I'm old, I'm cynical and I'm not trying to trash anyone. Just a little word of caution about gullibility. There are nasty people of all gender and professions out there.


message 6: by F.E. (new)

F.E. Jr. Mel wrote: "I think a conversation is good and I believe many of us will learn from this experience.

What I don't like about your post, though, is that you imply that it was the women's/victims' own fault fo..."



That certainly wasn't what I was trying to imply. Victim blaming is bullshit. However, this has happened several times and when something big like this occurs, it really makes victims of us all in a way. Those directly affected will have it the worst, but it sort of muddies up the water for everyone else as well. Sociopaths prey on certain kinds of people, usually nice ones, tender-hearted ones, and that's certainly what happened here.


back to top