The Fiver | Antiseptic game management and academic form completion

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Real Madrid turned up for work on Tuesday night, had a cup of tea, yawned, scratched their arse, and that was the end of Qatar FC. Meanwhile at Anfield, Iker Casillas, 63, made a couple of regulation saves and Liverpool fans patronised him to within an inch of his life. And that was that for another memorable evening of Big Cup entertainment. More, please, world’s most prestigious club football tournament! And sure enough, there will be more of it this very evening, as Manchester City welcome Basel/Basle/Baarrrrlll/Barzuhl to their home for a textbook display of antiseptic game management and academic form completion. Or maybe City will run in another four goals without reply. Thanks, world’s most prestigious, etc. More, more, more.

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