Okay, Now It’s MY Turn To Tell You A Few Things About Aging #BOAW2018

(This post is part of The Beauty of a Woman BlogFest VII! To read more entries, and potentially win a fun prize, visit the fest page on August’s McLaughlin’s site between today and 11pm PST March 9th.)

 

I saw a headline on some website, and I did a massive double-take. In hindsight, I wonder if maybe the writer meant for the words to be sarcastic. Maybe. I’ll never know for sure, because I immediately closed the link in audible disgust, and now I can’t find the article again.

The headline that inspired such instant and unforgiving outrage in me read:

Horrible Things No One Tells You About What Happens To Your Body As It Ages

Are you kidding? Are you fucking kidding me with that crap?

Okay, maybe the writer really was being sarcastic. Maybe the article went on to say that a premise that dreadful stuff happens to your body as it ages and it is absolutely essential to share that depressing information far and wide is really quite unpleasant and probably the basis for many a self-fulfilling prophecy among hapless readers.

But maybe not. And that’s why I feel compelled to go on record with a rejoinder. What I’m about to share is entirely from my point of view. I duly recognize that my truths are not now and will not in the future be true for everyone as they age. But maybe they’ll spark recognition and maybe they’ll inspire some optimism. Because, if we’re lucky enough, we’re all going to get to a certain age at some point. And I honestly think that should be embraced.

I turned 60 last year. I know far too many people who didn’t make it to that age, so I will be utterly damned if I’m not going to enjoy as many of the moments of my years as much as I possibly can.

Herewith my top three favorite things about aging. I’m not going to limit it to what happens to our bodies, because I really do believe that all the details in our lives are profoundly related.

You really do have license to not give a classic fuck what anyone else thinks.

And, seriously, you’ve earned it. Now, I don’t say this by way of giving anyone my blessing to be a self-serving, selfish shithead and to not give a fuck if other people think it’s not right to be a self-serving, selfish shithead. I’m directing this at people who behave with grace and kindness. I’m giving them license to not spend time with people who don’t appreciate their grace and kindness. I’m giving them license to avoid self-serving, selfish shitheads.

I just think that at a certain age (I’m not 100% sure what that age is, but I do know for sure that I’ve been there for several good years by now…) you’ve lived long enough to not have to worry if anyone else approves of you as long as you approve of yourself, as long as you can honestly say that you are living according to your values. I think the assurance that the people whose opinions matter will respect you is a valid one.

If you’re kind and caring, anyone who doesn’t appreciate you, who belittles or undermines you, shouldn’t be in your world. In fact, they should just go fuck themselves, don’t you think?

It really is possible to love your body more and more as it ages.

I have a few friends who have medical conditions that keep them in near-constant pain. My heart aches for them. This is a cruel and unfair twist of fate. It can happen at any age. I suppose the argument can be made that it’s more possible to have medical issues as you age. Maybe. But why focus on that unless you have to?

I want to enjoy being in my body for as long as I can. I want to feel comfortable in my skin until the day I die. This is a conscious and constant goal, and I do whatever I can to make it my ongoing reality. And it turns out that there’s a lot that I can do. I believe in taking positive action at any age, and I also believe that it’s never too late to start making your health and your mental and physical wellbeing a priority.

I don’t want to start every new year that a birthday brings assuming that I’m going to feel less energetic, less inspired, less comfortable, less cozy. I want to feel as fabulous as I possibly can. And I honestly can say that I’ve never felt better than I do now. That’s something I wish for everyone as they age.

Time is precious, and that’s a really liberating thing to know.

Heidi Mastrogiovanni.