Update: The things that make me crazy…

It's three in the morning. I have to work in a few hours. Instead of sleeping, I am packing up this life of mine once again and blogging about it.

I am sad to leave the west coast. However, duty calls from across the mountains and home. Since Mom had her stroke, it's been difficult to be so far away from her while trying to chase dreams. But over Thanksgiving weekend, reality took over priority. With only one eye she can see out of, my mother went through the trouble of making a great Thanksgiving dinner, as she has always done. It ached a bit to be away, but it was my first holiday away from home, so I toughed it out. That is, until she told me that she wound up eating Thanksgiving dinner alone. My sister was sick and my brother…well, he was nowhere to be seen. This was only a few days after Mom was told her anuerism is gone- something really worth celebrating.

That was the breaking point. All I could imagine was what Christmas would be like if it was going to be a repeat of Thanksgiving. So at the end of the month, my fiancé and I are taking that long journey back to Alberta.

There is good news out of this. I found a freelance journalism opportunity covering the music scene. The magazine can't pay anything, so it'll be volunteer work. But it'll be the experience that I am lacking. In a few years, newspapers won't have an excuse not to hire me. Essentially I'm starting from scratch on my journalism career. The jobs just aren't out here, in my certified field and elsewhere. Even my fiancé is having issues with jobs here. Alberta has a bigger job market, so we're hoping our luck changes back there.

This doesn't change the dream I came out here with. No matter how far I wander and no matter the town I end up in, the dream stays the same- I will be a full-time writer.

A part of the dream was accomplished here. "She Wasn't Allowed to Giggle" has been published and is selling. Just today, it received an excellent five-star Goodreads review (found here: http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/222658083). Also, the Girls Education and Mentoring Services organization, which helps girl survivors of sexual exploitation and commercial trafficking, expressed interest in the book. Yesterday I sent them a complimentary copy and I have been told it will be shared with their members and the girls they help. I'm honoured that the book will be used for the purpose for which I published it.

This has all unfolded within the past few days. Not a lot of writing has gotten done and probably won't be until the move is over. Family matters were the same thing that took me back to Alberta the last time I moved away from here. There's a Terri Clark song that comes to mind as I write this and I had to play it. A few lines really resonate with me this morning.

"But the things that make me crazy

Always make me stay

But I can't pull the trigger on that

Changing world out there

With all these dreams I can't believe

I'm still standing here

It's time to face the fact

I'm not the rebel that I thought

Cause midnight's gone

And I'm not."

~ Terri Clark "Midnight's Gone"

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