Avoid Separate Meals for Picky Eaters: A Hygge Tip

If you’re a parent, it can be tempting to bypass mealtime drama by making different dishes for picky kids. But there are drawbacks to giving in to selective eaters. In European, Asian and African cultures, children know that food choices change on a daily basis: while one meal may contain a food they’re not fond of, another may contain a dish they adore. And often, with time, a strange food becomes a favorite. All of this teaches resilience—and letting go of entitlement. Some days you win; other days you get learning experiences.

What if a child is on a special diet? My picky son happens to be gluten-free, casein-free, also known as GFCF. When he is present, we serve everyone the same GFCF food. When he has to miss a family meal because of a concert or rehearsal, I am free to prepare something with gluten and dairy for the rest of us.

One last word about “short order cooking”: If your child knows you will go out of your way to make separate foods for him, it is only natural that he will think it’s normal to make special requests of other people in his life. My family is Danish and one of the tenets of Danish society is that each person’s time is valuable and it is never okay to unnecessarily inconvenience another person. You will never hear a Dane say, “Hey, it doesn’t hurt to ask!” That’s because inappropriate demands on each other’s time damages the considerateness that Scandinavians so love. As innocent as it may seem, making a separate meal for your child can have ramifications that last into adulthood.