Bus Useless

Anthony McIntyre writes about the failure of service delivery with Bus Eireann.

That pretty much sums up the quality of service on offer from Bus Eireann. Service is a misleading term that some consumer society needs to look into. Although the timetable would try to bamboozle passengers into thinking the 101 service from Dublin to Drogheda passes every twenty minutes in the rush hour, that should be regarded as guff, to be taken no more seriously than a politician's election literature. People have been known to stand at the stop at Seatown roundabout for more than an hour waiting on the every twenty minutes service. On occasion they have drifted off to get taxis or find an alternative route home, having strained their necks for what seemed like aeons in the forlorn hope that miracles do actually happen and that the elusive 101 might just come into view, that the endless procession of green Swords Express vehicles might just be punctuated by the arrival of the Bus Eireann red. Like an oasis in the desert it is just a mirage.

Frequently buses pass displaying the "bus full" sign in the front window. Other times as passengers run to catch the bus it accelerates away, the driver ignoring signals from others waiting on a different service that people are yards away. At that point the regret breezes through my head that we back these people when they are on strike. Even when they do stop, as most drivers do, once on the vehicle, flopping down in an uncomfortable seat, the passenger is immediately reminded that seats compete so vigorously for space that that it is even tighter to manoeuvre than on an economy class flight. A journey is an exercise in perpetual fidgeting and shape shifting in a vain bid to get comfortable.

Trying to catch a bus to make a flight or a match is seriously taking a chance. The traveller addicted to risk might like the close call but for the person with a destination to get to on time, it is a gamble where the odds are not with the punter.  Myself and my son arrived half way through the first half of an international soccer match at the Aviva, due to Bus Useless doing its usual. No más– we signed up to Matthews for the last game, Manchester United against Sampdoria and arrived well on time and in relative comfort. Another evening saw me wait over forty minutes after the scheduled time before the bus arrived to take me to the airport for a Coventry flight. There were no traffic jams or road diversions, just a case of Bus Useless doing what it does frequently. Trying to get somebody at the depot to explain the delay is like asking a bishop for the result of an investigation into clerical child rape.  Head scratching, a look into the middle distance up the road followed by a pretence of talking into the phone: a motionless manoeuvre in search of a seemingly motionless bus.

I dislike the idea of public services being privatised, handed over to profiteers. But when an enterprise like Matthews provides a much better, more comfortable service, that invariably gets people to their destination and leaves nobody strained and stranded for over an hour, it has to have a selling point well ahead of the shambles that characterises service delivery at Bus Useless. Were Mathews to run a service along the 101 route it would clean up. The only reason I set foot on Bus Useless is that there is no other way to reach my destination.

Passengers are well advised over the coming days with the potential intrusion into our already inclement weather scene of the Beast From the East, to take a packed lunch and a hot drink. Bus Useless will do as it has so often done, leaving you stranded in the freezing cold.

Citizens should stand by their public services but first their must be a service on offer. Bus Useless ... for those who want to get nowhere fast.


Anthony McIntyre blogs @ The Pensive Quill.
Follow Anthony McIntyre on Twitter @AnthonyMcIntyre