Finding the Theme in Your Memoir and Why It’s Important
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
“It’s a supreme act of control to understand a life as a story that resonates with others. It’s not a diary. It’s taking this chaos and making a story out of it, attempting to make art out of it”~ Dani Shapiro
Photo Credit: impact videoproduction.co.uk
Why Theme is So Important in Memoir
How many of you have ever felt stumped when asked the question, “So what’s your story about?”
After nearly twenty years of writing about the story that keeps nagging at me…the twenty-five year period when I was dealing with a son with an addiction to alcohol while coping with Stage Four Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, I am finally becoming clear on what my story is about and why I want to send it out into the world.
The theme has evolved through many phases of my writing and a question has formed–
How does a mother cope with and get on the other side of simultaneous life-threatening battles?
The Story:
Daring to Hope: One Mother’s Journey To Healing From Cancer and Her Son’s Addiction is a story of how one woman’s simultaneous battles of Stage Four Non –Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and her young adult son’s addiction to alcohol and drugs tests her resolve to never, ever give up hope.
The Universal Messages:
Addiction is a disease which affects the entire family and requires a lifelong commitment to self-care and healthy boundaries.
Letting go does not mean giving up.
When a mother’s love is not enough, hope steps in.
It is possible to get on the other side of simultaneous life threatening challenges.
The Theme(s):
Main theme:
The power of hope in healing when faced with life-threatening life challenges.
Sub-themes:
Faith, Addiction, Codependency, Cancer, Resilience, Loss, Healing
Finding the Theme for Your Memoir
A good memoir is never just about the events in your life. A good memoir reveals how your life changes as a person as a result of these events.
Theme answers the question, what’s the story about? Our specific story illustrates the universal theme.
The following questions have guided me as I continue working on revisions for my work-in-progress memoir:
What does the main character learn and how does she learn it?
What is the universal question that will help me connect with my readers?
How have I changed by the end of the story and how do I show it?
Let’s take each question and expand on the benefits of asking them as you write…
What does the main character learn and how does she learn it?
This is where selecting the right events/scenes to support the theme comes in. If a scene does not align with the theme, it will not move the narrative forward. It may take the reader out of the story and be a distraction. In that case, it should be removed. It’s a good idea to ask yourself after each scene if it serves a purpose in the narrative. If not, it should be cut, even if you love those “darlings”.
Also, the “show vs tell” guide applies. Capturing the reader’s attention through sensory details will keep the reader in the story better than exposition alone. Exposition serves a purpose in inner monologue and reflection, so important in memoir, but balancing scenic details and exposition is a memoir writer’s challenge (at least this memoir writer’s challenge).
What is the universal question that will help me connect with my readers?
Defining the universal question starts with being clear on your purpose for writing your story. Once I was clear how the power of hope helped me to navigate through simultaneous life challenges, I felt a passion to share my story for others. It is possible to heal from cancer and a son’s addiction. Being connected to my purpose for writing fuels me for the long haul nature of the memoir writing journey.
How have I changed by the end of the story and how do I show it?
Every scene I write needs to relate to my theme and I need to show how these events shaped my responses and led to my eventual transformation. Otherwise, why would anyone want to read a story of challenges and a litany of life events without any redemption or lessons learned?
Photo Credit: “Path to Truth” www.elizabethchannes.com
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I’ll leave you with a few select resources about exploring theme for your memoir:
Author and editor Cami Ostman host a fabulous Facebook group, Memory into Memoir, where she posts live videos about memoir writing. Here’s the one about theme
In “Quilting Your Memoir: Your Turning Points and Timeline” ,Linda Joy Myers, President of The National Association for Memoir Writers, points out “Your turning points are the emotional hot spots of your life. Focusing on these points will help to sort through the file cabinet of your memories and will help to build the spine of your memoir structure.”
“Why Your Memoir Needs a Theme and How to Choose One” on Profound Journey blog
“10 Tips for Finding the Theme of Your Memoir” by Abigail Carter at Huffington Post.
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How about you? How do you find the theme in your writing projects? Do you have any other tips to share? Are you able to state clearly what your story is about?
I’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
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This Week:
Monday, 2/26/18:
February 2018 Newsletter: Monthly Updates, Memoir Musings, Max Moments:
“Lenten Reflections”
If you are interested in receiving these monthly updates in your inbox, please sign up on the right side bar. I’d love to have you along.
Next Week:
Monday, 3/5/18:
“The Novel and the Memoir: Two Paths to the Truth by Author David Z. Hirsch”
David is the author of Didn’t Get Frazzled. “This novel captures with distressing accuracy the gauntlet idealistic college grads must faceto secure an MD and , against all odds, come out a better human being. Cringe, Laugh, fall in love, cringe some more…”
