Are Oreos Getting Out of Hand?

"C'mon, Oreos, be yourself," my teen daughter exclaimed down the aisle today.
She has a point! How are we supposed to be brave and love who we are, or teach our kids it's okay to be your quirky self if America's Favorite Cookie "wafers" on who they are?

Today's pop culture masquerade was Peeps! Um, hate to break it to you Oreo, but that gig is already taken. And last month-- Hot & Spicy Cinnamon Candies. You know, the Red Hots you used to give out in school For Valentine's day?

For the last five years or so, we've witnessed the integrity of Oreo's OG slipping away. I understand it's marketing, and other flavors can be fun. I'm all for diversity and new experiences. It's how we grow. It's fine to branch out a bit.

First Double Stuff...genius. double yum. Who doesn't want more o' the stuff when our teeth scrape off the cream? Fluff enuf said.

And sure, include the Chocolate Filled and the Golden Oreos. And mix and match those. All good, still sane. And let's be festive with those colorful Holiday creams. And when life hands you ...you know...well, the Lemon ones are tartfully smart.

Peanut Butter...Okay, I can see the merge. It makes sense, especially after the movie Parent Trap. Fess up, you dunked your original Oreos into a jar when you watched, didn't you? I did.

But then it starts getting ridiculous.

Birthday Cake...Eh, sounds a bit like jumping on the ice cream man's bandwagon. But the kid is a fan.

Oh, Berry Burst Icecream? I spoke too soon. Impostor! Marshmallow Crispy? Step off Rice Krispy Treats turf, please. (After all the arm breaking trouble of stirring the mix. we deserve the real thing!)

Two variations we did try: Banana Split and the results were, er, split. Daughter liked, me--Bleech. Not bananas over it.
And Neopolitan. Thought it would be good, but also sickening, Again, hijacking the freezer. Are you a cookie or a mouse? Or maybe a frozen mousse?

And in the summer, Watermelon??
The produce section is right there when you walk in!! just sayin..

Then there's Cookie Dough. Okay, getting back in the right lane. Then this happened. Cookies and Cream. Um, now they're just humoring us. Or perhaps that's what they have been doing all along. But I'm glad Oreo did some soul-searching on that one.

Now we're on a roll... Cinnamon Bun. Probably good but I don't want chocolate slamming down and power wrestling with the taste. Nothing beats a warm spiraling pastry converging into a cinnamon center.
Alright, you got me. We did splurge and buy the Dunkin Donuts Mocha--twice!--Delicioso. But very sweet! Would go great with milk or...coffee. Perhaps they are trying to rally cookies for breakfast? I admire their moxie.

There are a whole slew of surreal fusions I couldn't possibly cover without writing another book. A friend just reminded me about Pop Rocks! I like the retro nod to the eighties, but a snack foaming at the mouth? Or is the effect lost in the cookies and cream?
The other day, our newsroom graphic designer told me there was a Mystery flavor of Fruity Pebbles, which wasn't hard to pull over anyone's eyes.

I admit we haven't tried most of the outrageous concoctions. We only indulge now and then, or when the kiddos wear me down in a weak moment.
Don't get me wrong. I don't hate Oreos. They're scrumptious. I just appreciate their humble beginnings.
It's actually become a form of supermarket entertainment to see what Nabisco comes up with next. (Anything to make the chore more bearable, right?)

When all is said and done, or when the cookie crumbles, we should stick to our strengths, our roots, our original fillings. Be proud. Isn't it the moral to every story? You're great the way you are, especially a classic who didn't need to change at all.

Are you on board with any of the madcap mashups? Add your favorite to the mix in the comments.