A Better Class of Wall

This week, we're joined by narrator, Andrew McFerrin, who has a different take on the cabin fever we've all been experiencing lately. Sometimes when you feel you've hit a wall, you've only just discovered the secret doorway.

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So it comes to pass that lately I've been on a less-than-productive, slightly depressive jag. They happen. It's part of the way my brain's wired, and in fact the general background hum of discontent that has followed me my entire life is a big big part of the reason why I'm able to do this for a living, not to mention all the gonzo side projects I've come up with to keep myself enthused and amused.
I've tried medications, and don't get me wrong that shit is live-saving. As in, literally has saved my life on at least one occasion and most likely will do again. But they come with the unfortunate side effect of making me too easily contented with any given situation. That's simply not healthy for me, long term.
(Super-bitchin' muscles not shown.)
At this point I need to make it abundantly clear than I'm not shaming anyone for needing these things. I needed these things for quite a while, and almost certainly will need them again. It's like the principle behind lifting weights—you take the extra resistance, push that weight until your muscles fail and you can not push any more. Over time, done correctly with intent and proper nutrition, this gives you super bitchin' muscles that might, say, land you on the cover of a Dreamspinner book. But, and this is the kicker, that only works if you're HEALTHY. If you have a hernia or a slipped disc or some other structural thing going on where your body cannot support this strain, the best you can hope to accomplish by weight-lifting is to (maybe) not injure yourself further. It certainly won't get you any closer to bitchin' muscle-dom.
Same thing with emotional stuff: Many people, through no fault of their own, don't have the support system to handle any additional strain right now.  Maybe not ever.  I'm currently feeling properly supported and healthy in my brain-meats to be able to push a little extra weight. That discontent, rather than shutting me down and making me hurt, is currently driving me to DO GOOD WORK. It's a great feeling, I'm feel lucky to be experiencing it, and I for one intend to ride it while it lasts.
But here's the thing: it becomes very easy to mistake effort for progress. Obstructed by a brick wall, it's super tempting to bang my head against that wall until it falls...even when I can see that the wall ain't going anywhere and, more importantly, my head kind of is. Case in point: I've just recently finished working on a very challenging project. It's been really important to me to have it done ASAP, yet I found myself grinding away at it for a couple of weeks without making any headway.

So what do we do in such a situation? We find a better class of wall. Divert that energy and frustration and faint panic of OH MY GOD IM WASHED UP AND WILL STARVE IN THE GUTTER WITH A CARDBOARD SIGN AND A SCRAWNY FLATULENT DOG into a different, perhaps equally difficult project. To go back to the bodybuilding metaphor: arms are feeling wasted? Okay baby, today is now leg day. Get going. Can't seem to make progress on a book today for physical or mental reasons? Time to go make some music. Find this other wall, hang a picture of the first wall's face on it, and get banging. And when you've gouged away at wall #2 for a while, the QG wall will look different—smaller, finer, more delectably crumbly—upon return.
My longstanding other wall of choice has been a gay-centric horror movie podcast called Candy-Coated Razor Blades, which I produce and co-host with a couple of friends. The newest project is the new theme music, which I spent a lot of time learning how to produce while trying not to spin my wheels on that most recent challenging project I was talking about.
And speaking of...that project is now complete and will soon be available to pour into your ears, dear listeners. In the meantime, however, may this wall inspire you to thoughtfully dismantle some of your own.

----------------------------------------------------------------------See you next week with more audiobook fun!

Find Andrew and Falcon Sound Company on Facebook and at falconsoundcompany.com
And get ready for Andrew's newest narration, soon to be released from Dreamspinner Press, "The Griffin King's Consort," by Jenn Burke.