Wandering Thoughts Before the Quest
From the prompt youth needn’t be wasted on the young.
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Greta was on a quest.
Some might think that seventy-two was too old to have a quest, that Greta would be better suited sipping something somewhere while seated on something soft.
“Silly,” thought Greta, pulling on her shoes. “Also a good tongue twister.”
For quests can turn the mundane magical, and you’re never too old for a little magic. Any fool can run to the store for toilet paper. But have you ever quested for toilet paper? Ah, there’s an adventure. “Especially when I let Elmore do the driving.” She thought, looking over at her husband of forty some odd years and smiling sweetly while he looked for his hat. His near-sightedness behind the wheel made the entire trip all the more exciting. They’d first met after Greta punched Elmore’s date in the throat for calling her a skank because Greta was woo-woo dancing in Chicago. Screw her. It’d paid for college better than waiting tables had.
“People don’t like to admit to grandmas having woo-woo danced once upon a time,” Greta thought. She and Elmore had never had children of their own, let alone grandchildren, but since she looked the part now she counted herself in the club. “Like their life began with baking and birthday cards.” Greta didn’t know how to bake, either.
Greta wrote fantastic birthday messages in birthday cards, though. She didn’t think so herself, but it’s true. She’d brought their mail lady, Trisha, to tears last year with her thoughtful note and store bought macadamia nut cookies.
“Harrumph.” Greta grumbled under her breath, moving a Physics book off of her sweater. Nobody ever asked Greta’s thoughts on quarks, which she found annoying. True, she’d only just learned about them recently, having found and then read this left behind library book on the bus, but that seemed beside the point. At least she had another Q-U word to play in Scrabble.
You’re maybe wondering what Greta’s current quest is for. Have you seen the new Snickers bars wrappers? Where there’s a name, like Snippy or Cranky, where it’s supposed to say Snickers? Well, twenty minutes ago, while Elmore and Greta were playing Upwords – it’s a board game that’s like Scrabble, only you can build up on tiles, changing fox to for or faker to faxed – Elmore, who was losing badly and very sore about it, cheated and played Goodhall, knowing full well that it’s against the rules to play proper names or places. He played it to get under Greta’s skin because there’s a woman down at Greta’s church, Eva Goodhall. Greta is not a fan of Eva Goodhall. Eva Goodhall is not a fan of Greta. But they play nice when they see each other because the only place they see each other is at church. Anyhow, Elmore thought he was so clever, playing Goodhall like he did, but Greta didn’t get mad. She didn’t even call him out for being a cheat, which was well within her right to do. She just looked at her tiles, smiled, and played her F over the D and her B over the H, switching Goodhall to Goofball.
If Elmore wasn’t six years younger than her, Greta was convinced he’d have died from laughing so hard. Once he calmed down enough, and they decided the game was over, Greta remembered that she’d seen a Snickers bar that had Goofball printed on it at the gas station the other day and that wouldn’t it be fun to quest for it?
Being a good-natured husband, always up for one of Greta’s adventures, Elmore said he was in. This brings us to now, with the intrepid pair ready to go.
“Do you want me to drive?” Elmore asked his bride, waving the car keys with a grin.
Greta mulled it over, finally taking the keys from him. “Maybe on the way back. Chocolate quest first, daring-do after.”
