Guest Post: Shoeburn and the Ill-Fitting Necklace by Shoeburn Ruffet

Blurb:
Shoeburn Ruffet is forced into finding the whereabouts of a business magnate’s lost piece of jewellery. Regina Wendle, the most powerful woman in Welt Foot and the business magnate, will unleash bees, sink phoney submarines, and sabotage helicopter outings until her necklace is found. 
Shoeburn will do slightly less exciting stuff to figure out what the necklace’s true purpose is. 

The necklace has something to do with him. It has something to do with his father. It may even have something to do with his dead mother, who could or could not be Regina Wendle. Shoeburn does a few heroic things in this story amidst all his blundering, but he’s not really a hero. He just finds himself unable to say ‘no’ in a situation that isn’t about a missing necklace but is instead one in which a necklace goes missing. 

He’d just rather not be there at all.

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About the Author:
Shoeburn Ruffet has no formal education, thinks chickens should have bigger wings, and has lived half his life with the same suspenders. He spends days looking out a keyhole, and he thinks you know as much about him already as you should ever know.

Tea is his drink of choice, but if it’s too hot it’s not tea anymore and is a third degree burn instead. During his last visit to the graveyard, Shoeburn met four people whom he had forgotten about. He wants you to know that he knows nothing about Regina Wendle or her necklace.

He is constantly rethinking the definition of “private diary literature.”