Real Life Diagnostics: Is it Clear What's at Stake?

Critique By Maria D'Marco

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: One 

Please Note: As of today, RLD slots are booked through February 24.

This week’s questions:

Is it clear on what's at stake? Do you start to get a feel for the character? Would you want to read more? 

Market/Genre: Fantasy

On to the diagnosis…
Read more »Written by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com