Occasional sips from a long glass of Advocaat

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Goodness knows, the Fiver isn’t trying to downplay Liverpool’s performance in Big Cup on Wednesday. A five-goal haul away in Europe – as part of a show featuring quick breaks, top-corner rakes, back flicks and a juggling act so dainty it would make Lionel Messi look like Charles ‘Charlie’ Charles – is nothing to be sniffed at. But look at it from a Porto perspective: they were comprehensively overpowered by a midfield consisting of Jordan Henderson, gingerly feeling his way back from injury, James Milner, 63, and Georginio Wijnaldum, strolling around with an insouciance so thoroughly Dutch he may as well have been taking occasional sips from a long glass of Advocaat while absent-mindedly picking at a speciality cookie. Maybe a few more shuttle runs in training, that might be an idea. Sérgio Conceição can have that one for free.

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