99 Problems

Happy Thursday! You've made it!This week, narrator John Solo talks about the difference between being driven, and being driven insane, as well as the long and winding pot-holes-as-big-as-your-house dirt road to work-life balance. Buckle up! --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’ve got 99 problems but a job ain’t one… I’m 41 years old, and I just started using the word “career” to describe my work life a few years ago.  I have a career now, not a job.  Kinda’ feels like I’m adulting or something…

You see, there is a huge difference between the two.  The esteemed comedian Chris Rock (he’s esteemed in my mind, and I’m the one writing this, so shove off!) has a great bit about this.  I think it’s called, “Plate of Shrimp”.  He talks about working a job in a restaurant as a kid, and how the time goes so slow…  He worked as a dishwasher, scraping shrimp off the plates and counting the hours, minutes, seconds until he could go home.  Then he talks about his career as a comedian, actor and writer, and how instead of wishing he was done working, he finds himself wishing for MORE time. There's never enough time in the day.  I think he hit the shrimp on the head.

I’ve only talked about this with friends, but we’re all friends here, right?  Good.  Put on your therapist hat for a second, pull another glass of whatever the hell that stuff is (you should be ashamed of yourself!), and let me tell you of a time of high adventure!  

(Editor’s note: The subsequent text has nothing to do with adventure)

I remember a time, less than a decade ago, when I was driving to an office building downtown 5 days a week.  Think shirt and tie every day, half hour lunch breaks with some guy we called Lingering Larry (or was it BO Barry…  I forget his name, but the smell remains...), and a boss that always tried to act 20 years younger than his hairline and viewed Office Space as a management training video.  Don’t get me wrong, they paid well, and I was thankful for the job, but it was a job… I remember counting the hours until I could go home, until I could LIVE.  The suffocation of doing someone else’s bidding for 9-10 hours a day, the monotony of the task itself, combined with my intense need just to BE MYSELF, just for a little while, was soul-stifling.  It felt like a crushing weight upon my chest.  I dreaded going there every day, which meant that, given that the majority of my week was spent there, I pretty much dreaded my life all the time.   I vividly recall thinking several times, on my morning commute, that if I would just swerve a little bit to the left, into traffic, I may at least get a few hours off…

But, hey, didn’t mean to bring ya’ll down!  See, it got better, which life inevitably seems to do if you just keep trying.  Fast-forward to the present.  My lovely wife and I decided several months ago that we needed some time off.  Being small business owners now, we work.  A lot.  We started Falcon Sound Company close to five years ago, and we haven’t taken more than 3 consecutive days off since then (actually, now that I write this, I do remember going to a Pirate Festival in Savannah a couple of years ago, and I think we may have been gone 4 days...Arrrggghhh!!!).  

In perfect me fashion, I decided if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing big.  “Let’s take February off!”, I said casually.  She gave me a look that said she wasn’t buying my tom-foolery, and I’d better remember to take the trash out.  I gave her a suggestive wink.  She shook her head in disgust.  (we’ve been married a long time, kids… that was a whole conversation right there, ‘k?)  Me, being me, assured her that it wouldn’t be a problem!  Pshaw!!! One month off? We should be able to do that, right?  After all, we do own the place.  

See, and this is where having a career differs from having a job.  If, while having a job, I had a month’s vacation time available, you can bet your pretty little mouth I would have taken it.  Ok, who am I fooling in this crowd?  When I was working a job I couldn’t stack up more than a weeks vacation to save my life… so lets say a week.  The point is, hell or high water (what does that even mean, anyways?!?) I would have taken that week’s vacation, I may have called in sick the day after, and if my employer even remotely suggested I leave a day later than scheduled or come back early I would have laughed heartily in his or her Office Spacing face.  


Having a career… well, needless to say, we didn’t take the month of February off.  In fact, we didn’t even take a week off, although we did come close.  4 days.  That’s what we took.  4 days.  And I kinda’ worked a bit on day one, and maybe a little on the second day as well…

But, you know what?  I don’t mind one little bit.  And I didn’t skip my time off because I had to.  It’s because I have a career.  I absofreakinlutely LOVE what I do.  Love it.  When I go to bed at night I find myself excited about what I get to do the next day.  When I wake up I sometimes get the urge to pinch myself to see if it’s real (not that… get your mind out of the gutter!!!).  I haven’t felt the desire to swerve into traffic to get a sick day in years.  

(Editor’s note : The author works from home.)

My goal in this post was to express how lucky I am that I get to do something that I want to do, that I care about and enjoy, every day, for a living.  I wanted to make you understand the deep sense of gratitude that I feel to our fans, our clients, this wonderful community of truly amazing people that have gifted me with this smile I am wearing right now.  I imagined all of you reading this and feeling closer to me, and me to you, envisioned you and me wrapping our arms around each other in a big cyberworld-energy love hug.  But, after reading back through what I’ve written, I realize that perhaps all I have truly accomplished is talking about rotten shrimp, a flatulent friend, and my inability to do household chores in a punctual manner.  

It’s all right.  I’m a sucky writer.  But at least I don’t have to go to a job tomorrow.
Find John Solo and Falcon Sound Company on Facebook, or at falconsoundcompany.comUntil next week, happy listening!

Check out John's newest narration,"The Omega's Secret Baby," by Ann-Katrin Byrde.