3rd Wheel-ing Through Life

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Two straws, one banana milkshake. I lean in closer. . .to guzzle my own lonesome leftover milkshake.

The beautiful couple front and center is Ezra (a.k.a. the perfect boyfriend) and Tamara (a.k.a. my irreplaceable best friend).

And then there’s me. The girl a table away, in the back, fake-crying while sipping some of Tamara’s leftover milkshake.

After several years of navigating a love-infested college, I’ve mastered the art of 3rd-wheeling. It’s fun enough, until the sidewalk is only big enough for two, and I’m left awkwardly tagging two steps behind.

After celebrating (yes, celebrating) my 20th valentine-less Valentine’s Day, I know and love the freedom and fun of being single. But Tamara and Ezra’s sweet relationship has taught my cynical self what true (romantic) love is.

Every single girl needs that boyfriend-ed best friend.

I remember the summer before my Freshman year, when I first heard Tamara chatting on her phone with her boyfriend (for hours at a time). Completely serious, I thought, “Well, that’s not going to last.”

But love proved me wrong again (and again).
Love outlasted the fights and drama and distance.
Love overcame every problem.

Am I still cynical? Yes. But am I a romantic? Absolutely.

I have fun 3rd-wheeling through life, not just because of the free food (and more free food: my thanks to Ezra’s generosity), but because of the lessons it teaches me.

What happens when you are 3rd-wheeling through life? You learn to love it. You learn from it. You grow from it. And no matter what, you keep believing in true, romantic love.

This Valentine’s Day, I may not be ‘in love,’ but I see constant evidence of love. Not in a way that would make me bitter, but in a way that makes me appreciate it.

The chocolate Ezra gives Tamara, the roses my dad gives my mom, the time my grandpa spends with my grandma—that is love. Beautiful, selfless, lasting love. 

For me, God is the only perfect example of love. His very nature defines love. According to 1 John 4:8, “God is love.” If God is love, then as His daughter I am never unloved and never alone. There are no third-wheels to God’s love.

He sought me out, He chose me, He fought and died for me, then rose again to save me. He loves me despite my fears and my doubts. He loves me though I am unworthy of love.

He is mine and I am His. 

And every day, as God streaks clouds with the dying rays of sunlight, as He flings stars to shimmer in the dark sky, as He pushes the waves of the ocean up against golden sand, I hear Him shouting across the Universe “Janise Anderson, I love you.”

As He fills my anxious mind with peace, as He wraps His arms around my wrung-out and world-weary heart, as He catches my every tear, I hear Him whispering in my ear “Janise Anderson, I love you.”

This Valentine’s Day, were you 3rd-wheeling through your day, living off pity-chocolate and fun times? Or were you leaning against someone who has always loved you and always will? Were you too busy to care or too sad to let go?

Remember Who defines love. Only He can truly love you and hold you securely in His arms. Only He can promise you forever and only He can never let you down.

With God, you will never be a third-wheel or the odd one out. Whether your heart is full of dreams or broken with regret, trust it to the One who made it, to the God who defines love.