Thoughts on Life

About thirteen years ago, I was struggling with a severe bout of depression and anxiety. I took some time for myself, and it actually did me a lot of good. I had always heard of the benefits of meditation, so I decided to give it a try. It brought me a lot a peace.

So I’ve been meditating for thirteen years or so, and last night, I had … well, I had a pretty profound revelation as I sat in meditation. I thought I’d share it with you all. (I think it was worth waiting thirteen years for.)

I had gotten into a really deep relaxed state. I was aware of everything around me — the hum of the fan, the feel of the blankets at my feet, my hands resting on my knees — but at the same time, I knew that I was deep into my own consciousness. I had found a center of peace and stillness, and I relaxed into that feeling, knowing I had succeeded in finding it. (I don’t always get there every time I meditate.)

That’s when it struck me: a gentle voice deep in my soul said, “You know, this feeling of peace and tranquility is always here inside you. Just like your heart is always in your chest, your bones are always there to hold you up, your brain is always cradled in the protective bony case of your skull — this feeling of stillness is also always here, just waiting for you to be aware of it. So be aware, even when you’re not this deep in an alpha state.”

I basked in that realization, letting it settle deeply into my mind, so I could call on it whenever I need it in the future (as I’m sure I will). Today, I feel calm and at peace, knowing that that feeling is always inside, as sure as my heart beats.

(tl;dr) Stillness and peacefulness are always inside us. No matter what’s roiling around on the surface, it’s always there, just like our bones are inside our flesh. We’re not always conscious of our bones, but there they are, holding everything together. And so is tranquility.

Thanks so much for reading this. You guys rock.