What Have You Been Saying About Yourself?
I was on my fourth outfit and totally disgusted with myself. As I looked into the mirror, focusing on my figure flaws, I sighed in defeat.
“I am so fat.”
No matter how I turned my head, sucked it in, or positioned myself in front of the mirror, I could only see what was wrong with my body. I didn’t focus on the definition of my arms from strength training. I didn’t see that my jeans fit less snugly than they had just three weeks before due to recent weight loss. And I didn’t notice that my butt looked a bit higher from all the squats and lunges I’d been doing at the gym. All I saw was a body that was bigger than it had been pre-children, and one that needed improvement.
After trying on yet another outfit, I looked into the mirror one last time and said, “I am so fat!” with a bit more emotion this time. I was so consumed with wallowing in self-loathing, that I hadn’t noticed my oldest daughter, Abby, who was 5 at the time, coloring pictures on my bed.
The next morning as my two daughters were putting on the outfits I had laid out for them the night before, Abby tilted her head, posed in front of the bathroom mirror, and said,
“I’m so fat.”
I was sure I hadn’t heard her correctly.
“What did you say?”
“I’m fat,” Abby said again.
Oh my gosh! What have I started? I thought.
“No you’re not, babe,” I assured. “You’re perfect! You’re beautiful!”
As I continued to reassure my sweet Abby that she was perfectly formed by Almighty God, I realized that my negative self-talk was no longer just affecting me, it was also affecting my children and that wasn’t OK. I wish I could tell you that I immediately changed my ways and never uttered another “I look fat in these jeans” kind of statement, but I can’t. It was a process. But, I finally realized that saying, “I’m fat,” all the time was poisoning my daughters’ minds with wrong thinking, and it wasn’t helping me, either. In fact, the more I heard myself say those words, the more I believed them.
You know, the bible says that “Faith comes by hearing,” and I was hearing myself say negative things about myself day after day and thus, building my faith in the wrong area. It wasn’t until I changed my negative self-talk and began saying positive things about myself that my mindset changed.
Let me give you a visual so you can understand this concept a little better. Let’s say you have two dogs, and you feed one every single day but you only give the other doggie a small morsel once a week. After several weeks, your two dogs get into a fight. Which dog do you think will win that doggie duel? Of course, the answer is obvious—the dog you’ve been feeding regularly will win the battle easily because he will be stronger.
So, let me ask you something . . . which dog have you been feeding? If you’ve been feeding the negative self-image Fido, that depressing doggie is sure to overpower your positive pup.
Seriously, what have you been saying about yourself? When is the last time you looked in the mirror and said something nice?
You may be thinking: “But I don’t look fine. I’m not going to lie to myself and say I look fit and fabulous when I don’t.” And I’m not asking you to do that if you aren’t comfortable with that morning mantra, but I am asking you to stop making negative comments about yourself and start looking for areas where you can make positive observations.
For example, you may not be at your ideal weight at this very moment, but maybe you have been walking faithfully five times a week for the past three months and you’ve noticed a bit more definition in your thighs. So, instead of saying, “I’m 25 pounds heavier than I was before I had children,” declare: “I can really see an improvement in the muscle tone of my legs since I began my walking program.” It’s a shift in your thinking, which will cause a shift in your speaking, and a shift in your speaking will cause a shift in your overall attitude. So, go ahead. Toot your own horn today and say, “Girl, you are looking better than ever!”
Pray this with me: Father, help me to stop the negative self talk and begin confessing good things over myself. Help me to see myself through Your eyes, Lord, and help me to celebrate my progress. I love You, God, and I’m so thankful that You love me. In the Mighty Name of Jesus, Amen.
This post is an excerpt from my inspirational book, “Love & Care For The One and Only You.” You can find it online at Amazon and Barnesandnoble.
