3 Questions To Prevent “One Step at a Time” Thinking From Holding You Back

Learn how to unfocus to make greater strides in life

When you are overwhelmed by adversity, you may think of taking things “one step at a time”. Indeed, this approach can be quite comforting and gives you a greater sense of self-control and self-efficacy too. But there are instances when “one step at a time” thinking will let you down. Understanding when not to use this thinking may help you deal with difficulties or increase your speed of decision-making too. In order to prevent “one step at a time” thinking from hurting you, ask yourself the three questions below.

Am I low-balling my life? After a disappointment, you may feel deterred from having lofty goals. Sometimes it makes sense to stop and re-evaluate. But at other times, slowing down after a financial failure or when we you uncertain may simply be an excuse to avoid disappointment.

Called self-handicapping, people who are predisposed to avoiding failure over gaining success have more gray matter in the “conflict management” part of their brains. This allows them to suppress negative emotions. While this is helpful at times, when you are underestimating your potential, it makes you avoid negative emotions altogether. As a result, you may choose safe paths that limit your success. This amounts to self-sabotage.

How to avoid self-handicapping: In all cases, the antidote to self-handicapping is not to choose to be overwhelmed, but to make adjustments to the way you see failure. For example, see failure as “information” rather than “defamation”. When you do, failure will not deter you from seeking higher goals.

After you reframe the failure, ask yourself if you should consider upping your game. This may take the form of doing several things at once (not putting all of your eggs in one basket), or becoming even more agile than you were. Perhaps you will lead one project, but also play a smaller role in another — or you might listen to a book on tape while driving home instead of putting aside time to read it. In each case you do two things at once without overhwleming yourself.

Am I missing out on connections? There are countless examples of missed connections in business that have been costly. For example, in the late 1990’s, Gillette had a toothbrush unit (Braun) and a battery unit (Duracell), but they were late to market with a battery-powered toothbrush. Too much focus on putting one step in front of the other can make you miss out on connections.

How to avoid missing out on connections: There is a part of your brain that is wired for making connections. Called the frontopolar cortex, this region will map similarities and connections between ideas. But in order to do so, you have to take your eye off the next step, and look for connections instead. Maybe the next “step” is to stop and connect some of what you are doing, and not doing an entirely different thing altogether.

Should I be making a big leap? If you took one step across a deep and wide ravine, you might risk stepping into free fall. Sometimes, crossing a divide in life requires a leap of faith, and not just a single step. For example, leaving your current job to start your own business is risky, yet you will not necessarily be any happier staying at that job either.

How to take big leaps: Beliefs are “internal commands” to the brain, and the fuel that you often need to move forward. When you believe, it increases the reward-chemical dopamine in your brain. As a result, you feel more motivated. But to truly make those big leaps in life, you need what we call “approach motivation” — a gust of affirmation and self-connection to get you to your goal.

Although being focused is often the result of self-connection, being self-connected requires activating the brain’s “self” circuit first. This usually comes on when you are unfocused — not distracted‑but in a state of downtime or letting go. You can achieve this by incorporating walking in your daily routine for a year , or by simply closing your eyes and allowing your mind to wander. Start with a wishful and playful image like running through the woods with your dogs, or winning money at a slot machine. Then, let your mind wander off its leash for while. That’s when you will feel more self-connected. And there are many other ways to do this too.

There is a time and place for “one step at a time” thinking. It’s not every time. After you plan the size of your next step in life, ask yourself these three questions before you act on your plan. You’ll be likely to see how you are selling yourself short if you answer “yes” to any one them.

To read more on how you can take breaks intelligently and unfocus to ask the right questions, get a copy of Tinker, Dabble, Doodle, Try: Unlock the Power of The Unfocused Mind (May 2017, Ballantine Books.)