Football transfer rumours: Jan Oblak and Max Meyer to Arsenal?

Today’s fluff is struggling to make the grade

Good morning. It is only 34 hours and counting since the transfer window shut, so, y’know. The biggest story of the day seems to be about the poor woman’s Margaret Mountford, Karren Brady. The West Ham vice-chair has seemingly got herself into some sort of scrape down the Co-op while buying a can of Irn-Bru, a Dr Oetker pizza and 20 B& ... ah hold on ... no, it’s a showy anecdote about Leicester’s chairman spending £500,000 at “London’s most expensive wine shop”. Different world, innit. To be honest, Jacob Steinberg tells it better. But it all means the Hammers missed out on Islam Slimani, who ended up at Newcastle United instead. Like we say, 34 hours and counting.

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