zap

…still buzzing from last night. By the end of Crazy N**ger—and this has happened to me twice now in this piece—I actually forget/forgot how to read clock time. My brain turns to mush, short circuits. Both times I sort of stopped playing at 53:30, when it should end at 53:50. I bring myself back in, but it’s the weirdest thing. The first time I ever did this, I was mad for three days. Last night I had to just smile, thinking of the time Mary Jane Leach, who rescued Eastman’s music from oblivion, told me that strange stuff sometimes happens to her when she’s working with Eastman’s music. The computer shuts down. Emails bounce for no reason. So when I actually misread the ending-time *again* (despite huge warnings I scrawled in giant letters in my score, and after telling the story about the first time it happened like ten times yesterday) I had to figure this was just Eastman saying hello—a little zap from beyond just to let me know who’s still boss. Till next time, man.