Self Publishing Is Great — Sometimes

Depends on the day…

As I get deeper into this writing thing, I realize that many of us who self-publish must feel exactly the same way. It feels great to have an idea in your mind, pull it out of your brain, try to have it make sense to someone other than yourself, and then finally see that idea through to a full length book.

It’s truly a magical moment, immediately followed by the biggest slap of reality any of us self-published authors certainly face: “OK…now what?”

I’m laughing as I write this because it really is alarming. You hold the first copy of your first book in your hands and say to yourself, “it’s on.” I know I had the most monumental dreams ever. I saw my name in lights next to my author idols: Jhumpa Lahiri and Khaled Hosseini, Toni Morrison and John Milton. I was so ready.

Then the lights dim and you struggle to see the future that just a minute ago appeared so clear. You find out that it’s not so easy for people outside of your immediate network to discover your book. You struggle night and day to tap into platforms that will give your book the attention it deserves. That’s when you recognize that tens of thousands of authors just like you are doing the exact same thing.

You’re a drop in the ocean.

More than that, you’re a drop in the ocean with no wave to propel you. Harsh, but true. Self-publishing truly is self-publishing. There’s no budget, no connections, no sponsorships, no publicists; you must develop these things all on your own.

But you’re committed so you welcome the challenge. You carve out time each day from your “real” job and dedicate those moments to building your writing career. You strategize your social media, become more consistent on your blog, and ask for reviews from people to whom you’ve given away your book, a step you’ve come to realize is absolutely necessary.

Months go by and your sales are barely improving. In fact, you’re lucky if your sales are in the hundreds. Still undeterred, you push on. Now it’s on to more readings, guest blogging, getting your story into more book stores, and figuring out how to get yourself into the media.

Before you know it, a year has gone by. People aren’t as excited about your “old” book. Friends ask if you’re still writing and you still haven’t sold enough copies of your novel to cover the amount it took for you to publish the damn thing.

Now you start wondering if it’s worth it. Maybe you should’ve took some more time editing. Maybe you should’ve looked harder for an agent. Maybe you should’ve got it published by a real publisher. All these thoughts rotate in your mind daily with no clear answer.

Now what?

You’re back here again. Discouraged, frustrated, angry that you aren’t the one person who would go against all the odds and break through to become a self-publishing success. You have tidbits of an idea for another book, but are uncertain if you should write another one when you don’t feel that your first has gotten a fair shot.

These are the struggles we all face as writers when we take the bold step to self publish. We have an idea of the mountain we’re up against before we set off on this journey, but have no real idea of the work until we start climbing.

But it’s this very journey that is exhilarating. It’s the act of trying to separate yourself from the infinite amount of authors that makes self-publishing so special. You are in control of your destiny in the same way someone who starts their own business is in control o theirs.

We chose this direction because the gatekeepers have neglected us. For me, my goal has always been to touch as many people as possible. I don’t care how that happens. If it takes me writing 20 books, then so be it. If I happen to get signed by a major, then so be it. I’ve accepted my journey and will keep pushing to tell the best stories possible to the most people possible. More importantly, I will enjoy every second of every minute along the way.

CRY

Self Publishing Is Great — Sometimes was originally published in C.R.Y on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.