That Anxious Expression

She loved using “gentleman” to describe men; it also was less weighted with the sexual overtones contained in the word “man”.--Joan Juliet Buck, THE ONLY PLACE TO BE, a novel
Ashley sent the cutest letter.  I guess my words worked over Christmas when I asked Ashley and the girls, “Will you write to me, please?”

January 14, 1992For Uncle Mike,Thank you for the gift but you forgot to put 1992.I miss you a lot.  School is fun.  Mom goes to school, too.I Love You.  Kisses and Hugs, XOXO, Love, Ashley
And a day later Sherri wrote, too:
1-15-92Mike-Hi!  Thank you for my present and remembering me on my 27th Birthday.  Yes, 27!!!Of course I didn’t wait to open it.  Who does?I started school on Monday.  I like it so far.Did you get Ash’s letter?How’s school?  Talk to you later.Love,Sherri and FamilyP.S. Holly was upset when Ash got a letter and she didn’t.  You know those middle kids.
And of course my week wouldn’t be complete with a few funny postcards.  This time they were both from Dorothy Rua.
DINNER TIME ON THE FARM Dear Michael,Looks like it’s dinnertime on the farm or dinner time in Merced!Don’t get too excited though.  It looks like there’s enough for everyone.Love, D
January 20, 1992Hi Michael,Is this little guy on this postcard you with that anxious expression, waiting for the results of that Securities exam?  I hope it went well and that you can relax now at least for a while.  When do you get the results?  And when would you be heading east for training?  Am I thinking positive?  Of course.   This IS your year. By the look of this picture your thighs can use a little firming up.  So…a bit of exercise and you’ll be all set. Ha-ha.And stay away from that breast milk.   Too many calories…Ha-ha.Yeah, I’m full of it (trouble) today.  I feel like I’ve been in a coma the past couple of months.  I still feel like it.  I’m not quite sure why.  Maybe it’s the cold weather and lack of exercise.   Who knows?  I’m sure it’s more than that.  Maybe all I need for a little relief is more of that red nail polish on my fingers and toes.  Some RED RED WINE would probably make me feel fine, too!  Oh…and a couple of other things, too, I’m sure.  Ha. D-
There’s something about Dorothy’s handwritten words.   She builds my confidence.  Alan does too.  It’s a reminder of the meaning of my name, MICHAEL:  He who is like a KING.  I did it.  I passed the Securities Series 7 exam.  I am now licensed to sell stocks, bonds and what not.  What next?  
How can we not feel that we are strong?The nature of a conqueror, as you surely know, is to acquire whatever he wishes to acquire.-Elizabeth Gilbert, THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THINGS