Working With Children Underfoot
As many people know, not just authors, working with children underfoot can be quite a challenge. They require time, love, affection, patience, help... and many other things which can be tiring and frustrating to deal with.
Before publishing my first book, I considered myself nothing more than a stay-at-home mom, feeling I could do nothing to contribute to our financial situation, feeling inadequate to enter the workforce, as when I have tried all of the money went directly to childcare. It can be frustrating when children aren't in school, or you don't have time for a break. Living with anxiety and depression, it makes it harder to cope with because I want to be there for them, but I also need time to decompress, which seems to never come. Being a parent is a 24/7 job, and it never ends, even when they are adults.
So, how do you work when you have children around?
1. Take it slow. Depending on your work and your environment, try and take breaks and slow down. It doesn't mean your productivity must decrease, it means you need to keep your mind healthy and awake for your work. Spend some time with your children, get them to settle down with something else to distract them (or someone else), and then dive into your work.
Being an author makes it great for me, because I can do things at my own pace. When I need time to myself, I try to read or write as much as I can. Even just to keep my writing fluent, reading to help myself learn to write better.
2. Focus on work when it is work time, and children when it is child time. Sure, children take time and energy, but if you can manage to get them on a schedule, then you are more likely to find time to get your work done as well. Even though they may interrupt you, even though they may still come seeking your attention, relax, take a breath, count to ten. It's all going to be okay. When you have gotten them to settle down again, just pick up where you left off. But here's the secret - just like any other job - you have to have "quitting time". If you want to write for 7 hours straight and have no issues, wonderful! If your children bother you in the meantime, it's okay. Take a break and go back to work when you can. But when your "work day" is complete, then clock out and take the rest of the day off from work until the following day. It keeps you from becoming overwhelmed and keeps your little ones in line where they won't drive you "insane".
3. Give yourself and your children structure. I'm not saying map out every day every month, I mean be consistent. Remind them of when your work time is. If they are old enough, remind them, and perhaps even give them something to do in the meantime to keep them from keeping you from your work. But just because you need to work, don't feel too stressed out when they do take your attention, because it is bound to happen.
You will have good days, and you will have bad days. You will have productive days, and days where you barely seem to get anything done. Just remind yourself that your family is important, and they always will be. Jobs and passions come and go, but time with your family is valuable because it is fleeting.
Love what you do above all else, and understand you are incredibly important. To many people. So, give yourself a break and a pat on the back. And don't stress yourself out, because we all know that leads us to mistakes and even more stress. Put it down for a little while and get back to it. You'll come back with fresh eyes ready to see what needs to be done. And you'll be glad you took the break.
Best of wishes!
D.M. Shiro
Before publishing my first book, I considered myself nothing more than a stay-at-home mom, feeling I could do nothing to contribute to our financial situation, feeling inadequate to enter the workforce, as when I have tried all of the money went directly to childcare. It can be frustrating when children aren't in school, or you don't have time for a break. Living with anxiety and depression, it makes it harder to cope with because I want to be there for them, but I also need time to decompress, which seems to never come. Being a parent is a 24/7 job, and it never ends, even when they are adults.
So, how do you work when you have children around?
1. Take it slow. Depending on your work and your environment, try and take breaks and slow down. It doesn't mean your productivity must decrease, it means you need to keep your mind healthy and awake for your work. Spend some time with your children, get them to settle down with something else to distract them (or someone else), and then dive into your work.
Being an author makes it great for me, because I can do things at my own pace. When I need time to myself, I try to read or write as much as I can. Even just to keep my writing fluent, reading to help myself learn to write better.
2. Focus on work when it is work time, and children when it is child time. Sure, children take time and energy, but if you can manage to get them on a schedule, then you are more likely to find time to get your work done as well. Even though they may interrupt you, even though they may still come seeking your attention, relax, take a breath, count to ten. It's all going to be okay. When you have gotten them to settle down again, just pick up where you left off. But here's the secret - just like any other job - you have to have "quitting time". If you want to write for 7 hours straight and have no issues, wonderful! If your children bother you in the meantime, it's okay. Take a break and go back to work when you can. But when your "work day" is complete, then clock out and take the rest of the day off from work until the following day. It keeps you from becoming overwhelmed and keeps your little ones in line where they won't drive you "insane".
3. Give yourself and your children structure. I'm not saying map out every day every month, I mean be consistent. Remind them of when your work time is. If they are old enough, remind them, and perhaps even give them something to do in the meantime to keep them from keeping you from your work. But just because you need to work, don't feel too stressed out when they do take your attention, because it is bound to happen.
You will have good days, and you will have bad days. You will have productive days, and days where you barely seem to get anything done. Just remind yourself that your family is important, and they always will be. Jobs and passions come and go, but time with your family is valuable because it is fleeting.
Love what you do above all else, and understand you are incredibly important. To many people. So, give yourself a break and a pat on the back. And don't stress yourself out, because we all know that leads us to mistakes and even more stress. Put it down for a little while and get back to it. You'll come back with fresh eyes ready to see what needs to be done. And you'll be glad you took the break.
Best of wishes!
D.M. Shiro
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