I've seen chaos and order reign supreme

I took a brief break from work this morning to jaunt over to the optometrist's office, for the purposes of ordering more contacts; and I brought my glasses along with me because they very badly needed an adjustment.

(There's this dude who works at my eye-doc's office - and he is a wizard of spectacle-manipulation. Every time he tweaks them for me, I feel like I'm wearing a totally new pair. Love it. Feels great.)

So I order more contacts, and I hand the nice gent my glasses. He disappears into the back, works his magic, and returns them to me. They fit fantastically once more, hurrah - but since I was actually wearing my contacts, I couldn't open my eyes to check the lenses.*

When I got home, I removed my contacts and popped my glasses on ... only to notice immediately that something was wrong. Really wrong. It was like the lenses had been dipped in milk.

I squinted at them, held them up to the light, and spied a thick network of what looked like teeny-tiny spiderweb cracks covering about half of each lens. At first I thought it must be some kind of sealant that had dried oddly; but it wouldn't come off, and I only live a few blocks from the optometrist's office. So I took them back.

And it turns out, when the tech had warmed the frames to make them more malleable ... he hadn't been paying close enough attention, and he'd melted the anti-glare coating.

To his credit, he was appalled. He immediately got on the phone to the manufacturer (where my info is archived) and within ten minutes, he had a new set of lenses winging their way to the office. They ought to arrive sometime tonight or tomorrow, and all will be well before long.

This is not the end of the world.
It was a mistake, but he apologized - and he'll make it right.

But my back-up glasses hold lenses with a prescription that's about five years old. It's off by almost a full point in one eye, and half a point in the other - so I can see, yes. But these things are wrong, and I've been working in them all day (they're no worse than my contacts, for close-up work), and I've got a headache going on like gangbusters.

Now it's suppertime, so I'm going to make myself a drink, close my eyes, and maybe listen to the news or something. But I have to get off the laptop now, because I can't stand it too much longer.

But oh yeah, first - here's a link to an interview with yours truly on Omnivoracious: Punting Fauns into the Lion's Mouth.

Oh Mr. VanderMeer. You are a funny, funny man. And it was definitely a funny interview. Go check it out - and if you've been enjoying Hellbent or Ganymede over the last few weeks, please be so kind as to post a review or two at the site of your choice. I would dearly appreciate it!


* I've been functionally blind since I was a kid. The prescription is far too strong to double; it's a recipe for instant migraine.