Top 5 Things You Can’t Live Without in 2018!

Happy Better Year Next Year Saving My Self-Importance

Top 5 Things You Can’t Live Without in 2018!

My older sister is smart, hard-working, and ambitious, and with the exception of the childhood years when she used to tackle me, tie knots in the feet of my pastel polyester tights to hobble me, and dash off before my parents could catch her, she’s always been my greatest cheerleader. She recently decided that 2018 should be the year that my blog generates passive income through Affiliate Links – you know, where I link out to vendors who sell all the trendy, cool stuff I write about – and they send me a little percentage of each sale.

What in the name of InstaPot is she talking about – who knew blogging could be anything but a time and revenue suck? Well, my sister for one – she works in the travel industry and her blog drives traffic to the eBooks she sells and she gets asked to consult and she’s brimming with good ideas about things to pack when you travel because she’s on the road all the time, perfect fodder for affiliate links and, well, you can see why I laid down and played dead when I was little and she came barreling at me for my tights.

“You always talk about books,” she said to me over the phone last week. “Link to Amazon so people can buy them!”

“Nope, I can’t because I have friends who are booksellers and authors so I just link to their pages instead,” I said. “None of us make any money, but at least we’re even.”

What about concert tickets? Girl, please. I’ve tried to slide into Ticketmaster’s DMs so many times, I think they bought a new phone. Ditto with Dansko shoes, my concert-going footwear of choice.

My sister had to go; she’d probably earned $6.40 in passive income just in the time we were talking but didn’t want to lord it over me.

I started thinking about what items of value I really believe in, what products I can push to my readers and still face myself in the mirror. And this is what I came up with, complete with a click-baity headline. Note: None of these are ACTUALLY affiliate links because I am easing into 2018 quietly. I don’t want to scare it by checking off goals too early. But this gives me something to work toward and to tell my sister when she gives me an Accountability Phone Call next week, after she’s earned another $25 just sitting still.

Top 5 Things You Can’t Live Without in 2018!

Foam Roller. Are you over 40? Do you wake up every morning and think, “cripes, that didn’t hurt yesterday”? Get yourself a foam roller and stash it in the corner of your family room, along with a promise to yourself to go on YouTube and figure out what you’re supposed to do with it! Eventually, something will hurt so much that you slump to the floor in pain and that’s when the roller comes into play. Lay the offending body part upon it and roll it until you’ve hurt something else so much that, comparatively speaking, the first ailment goes away! BONUS: if you have teenagers, they will die a thousand deaths watching you roll away your pains. It’s worth it just to see their embarrassment.
Aveda Dry Remedy Hair Oil. Are you over 40? Are you constantly monitoring your reflection in windows and mirrors to detect the first sign of dried out old lady hair? Do you wonder how, in Something’s Gotta Give, Diane Keaton managed to have both Keanu Reeves AND no flyaways, and do you suspect they’re related? I have no idea of Aveda’s Dry Remedy Hair Oil is the solution. I just know it smells good and has the words “dry” and “remedy” and “oil” in it, so it seems like it should work.
Avocados. I really like these. Avocado Lobbying Industry: HMU with your affiliate application form please.
Lovesick, Season 3. It had a MUCH better/worse name back in the day (Scrotal Recall) and is the only television show that ever induced me to go to a concert. Season 3 of this British comedy came out on Netflix on New Year’s Day and it’s already made 2018 much, much better than 2017. Luke is possibly my favorite character in film or TV, ever.
Righteous Indignation. I am giving this away by the pound in 2018. Racial justice, #metoo, Women’s March, the Donor Relief Act of 2017, defense of the planet: I had a restful holiday and I’m coming out swinging in the new year. Leave a comment below if you’d like to be my affiliate on this one – no money involved, but a heap of satisfaction and an answer to the inevitable question from our grandchildren, “What did YOU do to stop the madness?”

Used to think this was a gimmicky song until I read/listened to Greil Marcus’ The History of Rock and Roll in Ten Songs. Which, obviously, I will not link to in a way that makes anyone any money.