The Fit Hit – Jan. 1, 2018

My talking scale is straight-up terrifying.

Whoever created it obviously watched the first Resident Evil movie, because I’m pretty damned sure the little homicidal AI girl in that is the inspiration for my scale’s voice. “Please wait. Please step on the scale. THEN DIE!’

What’s worse is the thing has a hair trigger. What’s even worse than that is I keep it in my super tiny bathroom. What’s the worst of the worst is that my dogs love to accompany me while I’m getting rid of yesterday’s nachos,...