Ashes 2017-18: Australia v England fourth Test, day four – as it happened

Alastair Cook becomes the first man to carry his bat in an MCG Test
Australia end a rain-affected day on 103 for two, 61 runs behind

6.18am GMT

That’s all, folks. It’s a frustrating scene for England, though I’m sure they’ll return with bushy tails in the morning. Australia will be equally optimistic that David Warner and Steve Smith can continue their excellent defensive performance and secure a draw. They will resume tomorrow morning on 103 for two, still 61 runs behind. Thanks for your company, goodnight!

Related: Rain puts paid to attritional day of Ashes cricket at MCG

6.17am GMT

“Hang on, Guy Hornsby,” says Sarah Bacon. “Nowt to be sniffed at, gin-wise, when one is an Aussie living in England, and up at sparrow’s in arctic temps to watch this thing. Seeing as we’ve already had our wins, may as well partake of gins! Bed beckons, but I’ll see this Test match through if it kills me. (It won’t.)”

6.06am GMT

“My dad is from Australia, but I grew up in the US,” says Anna Morgenstern. “I remember watching fuzzy-looking cricket matches on UHF with him, and him explaining the game to me. Watching the innings from Cook, it all clicked for me. How the strategy works, why partnerships matter, why you hit the shots a certain way, why you bowl wide of the stumps sometimes, and right at them other times, etc. So in addition to it being an all-time-great knock, there’s that. Kind of a clinic of how Test cricket should be played.”

Amen to that, though it was arguably a clinic on how Test cricket used to be played.

6.05am GMT

Still no official announcement. But there won’t be any more play today. You have my word.

Meanwhile, I’ve passed some time by putting together an end-of-year list of my best articles from 2017. Enjoy:

5.59am GMT

England win! Sort of “Is it too English,” begins Ian Forth, “to point out that, while the rain has lessened the chances of England winning, it has at least ruled out a whitewash?”

5.54am GMT

“There’s something oddly poetic about rain coming at this point, a Test too late, to help Australia to save a game they care far less about (unless your first name is Glenn),” says Guy Hornsby. “Which begs the question: why are any of us still even emailing in? Because it’s email or gin, and I’m not really in the mood for the latter before 6am when I’ve been to bed. Cricket does this to you.”

5.53am GMT

While we wait for play to be abandoned, the BT Sport team are talking about allegations of ball-tampering against Jimmy Anderson earlier in the day. Graeme Swann and Michael Vaughan reckon there’s nothing in it, that Anderson was pushing the leather back down rather than scratching the ball. The footage suggests that was the indeed the case, though I’m sure we’ll hear more about it, particularly from the faux outrage clowns.

There are also grave allegations that Joe Root ate a sweet.

5.41am GMT

“Inspection at 4.30 with a view to starting at 4.45”
Reality at 4.39: pic.twitter.com/kaHVJ12lWh

5.40am GMT

“In the ground,” says Alastair Haigh. “The rain’s getting heavier not better. Not going to happen...”

The forecast is better for tomorrow, with 98 overs to be bowled. England still have a decent chance of winning the match, certainly if the ball continues to reverse.

5.37am GMT

It’s raining again. Go to the Health Freak Cafe. Go back to bed. Just go somewhere, there’s nothing to see here.

5.35am GMT

Rain delays make me want to smoke crack The outfield is still wet, so I don’t think play will be resuming at 4.45pm local time as planned.

5.33am GMT

Effing ‘Ell It’s Neil Stork-Brett!

“You go away for a few years, and then come back and see all the county pros like Starbuck, Naylor etc are still plugging away. I like to think of myself as the young tearaway whose promising career was cruelly cut short by injury. But in truth, I am Martin McCague.”

5.19am GMT

The umpires to reinspect at 16:30 with the aim of recommencing at 16:45. The current concern is the surface water on the outfield.

5.19am GMT

Even if there’s no more play today, England will fancy their chances of winning the match tomorrow. They would probably have around 70 overs to bowl Australia out, unless the scoring rate increases significantly.

5.16am GMT

There will be an inspection in 15 minutes, at 4.30pm local time. But my sources in Melbourne tell me more rain is on the way. No, I don’t actually have any sources in Melbourne.

5.13am GMT

Stopped raining at the MCG and covers slowly being removed

5.09am GMT

“Hi Rob,” says Ian Forth. “The wheel comes full circle. There was a match recently between England and India where 21 of the 22 players had scored a first class hundred. But younger (and older) readers might like to be reminded that while English bowlers of the 70s, 80s and 90s had forgotten how to bat, in 1903-04 Wilfred Rhodes started at number 11 in an MCC team that would all end their careers scoring at least 16 first class hundreds. In fact, rather like England’s tail yesterday, he accompanied RE ‘Tip’ Foster in England’s first-ever tenth wicket century stand while Foster proceeded to score his 287 at the SCG. Rhodes eventually retired having scored 58 first-class hundreds, including two as Test opener.”

4.55am GMT

Get in there Jos!

Good session ahead of the next game of @BBL. for 15% off @MyProteinUK use code BUTTLER >> https://t.co/11VnBdRByr pic.twitter.com/R4GGaFg1ch

4.55am GMT

“I read the first part of Adrian Hex’s email as ‘When it comes to carrying your hat’,” says Ian Copestake. I was decidedly confused from thereon after.”

Say what?

4.48am GMT

It looks like that might be it for the day, though I’m sure the umpires will give it at least another hour or so.

This rain looks set in for the afternoon unfortunately ☔️☔️☔️☔️ pic.twitter.com/NOtdMIfxbV

4.47am GMT

“I’m currently at the MCG and it’s several degrees heavier than ‘a touch of mizzle’,” says Kat Petersen. “I’m cold and I want to go home. Or maybe just to Sydney where it’s currently a sunny 27 degrees.”

It’s currently minus one in Orkney, but the precipitation is nought per cent. I think I know who’s winning.

Weather? Melbourne radar: https://t.co/5PK8GQYxun.
Play resumption? Updates from @CricketAus as they come to hand.
Day 5 arrangements? We'll have arrangements to share later in the day!

4.44am GMT

“Morning Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “Saw my first panda, Jiao Qing, at Berlin zoo earlier this year. Sat on a kind of throne with legs wide open and eating bamboo while being photographed by tourists. The panda that is, not me. Apparently they have tiny penises. I think there’s a joke about Mr Botham or Mrs Thatcher in there somewhere, but I’m damned if I can think of it at this time in the morning.”

You need some Sudafed and gin with your morning coffee. It really gets the creative juices flowing.

4.43am GMT

“When it comes to carrying your bat, does it make a difference if you are the No1 or 2 batsman?” says Adrian Hex. “Mike Atherton didn’t face the first ball against New Zealand in 1997 as he was the No2.”

Nope, no difference at all. All that matters is that you open the batting, bat through the whole innings and are not out when the 10th wicket falls.

4.40am GMT

Apologies for the radio silence: I was distracted by KP’s luggage woes. No news is bad news. The covers are still on, with little hope of an imminent resumption.

4.27am GMT

“I can sympathise with England’s reaction to the ‘rain’ that has sent the players from the field,” says Sarah Bacon. “Pfft. Looks no worse than a touch of mizzle to me! Since my little corner of Warwickshire is experiencing actual chunks of ice leaking from the sky (too cold for snow, perhaps? No matter: there’s enough of that on the ground from three days’ back). Anyhoo, just keep playing, I say. Dash that rotten-looking cherry down and take some wickets! Do it for England! Disclaimer: Sudafed ‘night’ pills are really good when ingested with a combo of coffee and gin. Just saying.”

Legal disclaimer: The Guardian does not advocate getting paggered on decongestants, caffeine and 41.4% ABV Juniper Drink in the small hours.

4.26am GMT

This will be a longer break, with no sign of the covers coming off.

4.21am GMT

“The item about the Icelandic Museum reminded me that, when I was a child, I was impressed to read in the Guinness Book of Records that the skin of the penis of the rorqual whale was used for making golf bags,” says Kim Thonger. “Doesn’t Sir Ian Botham play golf by the way?”

4.03am GMT

43.5 overs: Australia 103-2 (Warner 40, Smith 25) That’s a stunning shot from Smith, who drives Woakes between short extra cover and mid-off for four. The placement was perfect. England are unhappy with the ball, which has become wet and is reversing less as a consequence. Joe Root tries to get it changed, with precisely no success.

The umpires have decided the rain is heavy enough for the players to leave the field. England aren’t much impressed with that either, but there’s precisely bugger all they can do about it.

3.58am GMT

43rd over: Australia 97-2 (Warner 39, Smith 20) It has started to rain again, though it’s pretty light. Warner, duped by Curran’s slower ball, drags an attempted pull stroke onto his back leg. Another maiden from Curran, who has been impressively economical on his debut. Warner has 39 from 139 balls, Smith 20 from 63.

“I had only just read the article (not about penises) about Thatcher and her fear of pandas, when one appeared in the crowd!” says Ian Copestake. “Is this some sort of product placement? Does the internet want to make me think I now fear Pandas as I did Thatcher? Is there a new cream available?”

3.53am GMT

42nd over: Australia 97-2 (Warner 39, Smith 20) Warner, trying to turn Woakes to leg, gets a leading edge that loops tantalisingly over the leaping Anderson at midwicket. Warner has had a few scares in the short period since the rain break, particularly against Woakes.

3.50am GMT

41st over: Australia 92-2 (Warner 36, Smith 18) Warner gets Australia going, flick-pulling Curran nonchalantly over midwicket for four. He was out playing a similar shot in the first Test - and off a no-ball in the first innings of this game - but he nailed that one.

“Rob,” says John Starbuck. “In acknowledgement of Mac Millings providing a list of cricket-related carols the other day, here is a link he might want to follow up: The Icelandic Phallological Museum is probably the only museum in the world to contain a collection of phallic specimens belonging to all the various types of mammal ...”

3.44am GMT

40th over: Australia 86-2 (Warner 32, Smith 16) This is easily the slowest innings of Warner’s Test career, when he has faced at least 100 balls. He just manages to dig out another excellent reverse-swinging yorker from Woakes, who is bowling beautifully. It’s another maiden. Australia haven’t scored a run in the 3.4 overs since play resumed.

3.40am GMT

39th over: Australia 86-2 (Warner 32, Smith 16) Smith berates himself for failing to punish a short ball from Curran. At least he didn’t drag it onto the stumps. The next ball is a slower one that forces Smith to abort his attacking stroke. Another maiden.

3.37am GMT

38th over: Australia 86-2 (Warner 32, Smith 16) Woakes almost slips a full inswinger through Warner, who falls over towards the off side but manages to get his bat down at the last minute. It’s a maiden from Woakes. This is excellent stuff from England, similar to their approach at the MCG seven years ago.

“Wotcha, Rob,” says Mac Millings. “I saw an article on the Guardian site yesterday, and I had a couple of questions before I clicked. It’s called ‘Me and My Penis: 100 Men Reveal All’. Is it just a gallery? If so, is it all one hundred at once, or can I take my time?”

3.32am GMT

37th over: Australia 86-2 (Warner 32, Smith 16) Curran has four balls left in his eighth over. Smith defends each and every one of them. The fact he has to do so is a reflection of how straight Curran and England are bowling.

“Loving the idea of Warner plodding along (such things are relative),” says Robert Wilson. “Does he look different? Of course, a certain kind of unmacho-but-Churchillian knock from him now would really mean that he’s got it all. And would make me long to hear his views on Art Deco, transubstantiation and transgender bathroom rights. I first captured Geoff Lemon’s heart with a deeply felt screed about how much I hated how wistful I would be when Warner retired. More and more, I’m thinking, he’ll be an interesting figure when he does. A Ricky Ponting plus. What is this faintly sagelike development infecting the old-school ocker strain? Is nothing sacred?”

3.24am GMT

Play will resume at 2.30pm local time, which gives me precisely six minutes to get a coffee. See you in a bit.

3.20am GMT

“I looked at the list of who’s batted on all five days and checked Boycott’s stint at Nottingham,” says John Burton. “I haven’t forgotten the days of England’s tail having bowlers who appeared unsure of what a bat was for, but I didn’t expect to see three of them preceded at #8 by Botham - behind Miller and Knott. That I had forgotten.”

Yes, me too. I thought he was always at No7 or higher once he reached Test level. A few superb batsmen started their careers in the bottom four – Smith, Sobers, Pietersen, Shastri.

3.15am GMT

Thanks Adam, morning everyone. Let’s proceed straight to the sleepless mind of Gary Naylor.

“I guess it’s an impossible question even for Statsguru, but has there ever been a series in which two batsmen have spent such a large proportion of a team’s batting time at the crease? It feels like Warner or Smith (or both) have been at one end or other for every England delivery since day one in Brisbane.”

3.06am GMT

A good time to handball to Rob Smyth. Thanks for your great chat today. If we were on a first date, I’d definitely want to do it again. So, how’s about it tomorrow? Till then, be well.

3.03am GMT

Sorry, England fans. It isn’t heavy. But it has arrived two balls into Curran’s fresh over.

3.02am GMT

36th over: Australia 85-2 (Warner 31, Smith 16) Smith slipping into the Warner slipstream now, very happy pushing the ball around. On another day you can imagine Smith launching into a couple of Woakes’ fuller offerings here, but they have a job to do.

Cook's innings was a mighty accomplishment and deserved enormous praise.
But inevitably I think he would feel even more satisfied if it happened when the series was alive, as a footballer would be happier scoring a hat trick in a winning team.
Fair?

2.59am GMT

35th over: Australia 85-2 (Warner 31, Smith 16) Curran pretty good again. No real pac on the ball, but keeping Warner in check after Smith gets off strike behind square again.

2.57am GMT

34th over: Australia 84-2 (Warner 31, Smith 15) It is cold at the MCG. Rain surely going to play a role between now and stumps this evening. Woakes now, after Anderson’s super spell. On Smith’s pads to begin. Then Warner takes one to the sweeper there at cover. Not sure why there is one of those. Anyway. Smith again goes fine to finish. Not quite as potent now with Jimmy and Broad both having a rest.

2.52am GMT

33rd over: Australia 81-2 (Warner 30, Smith 13) Better from Curran. Warner patient again, happy enough to push the ball to the fielders rather than bashing it past them. Nice straight line from the man on debut. Handy bounce with his final ball, too. Maiden.

“David Warner (and Steve Smith) batting with commendable restraint and giving the lie to the simplistic idea that he can only bat in fifth gear,” emails Brian Withington. True, that. A lot more to his game than people choose to believe.

Glenn Maxwell had a stint in the @abcgrandstand commentary box, speaking honestly and with great insight about his Baggy Green dreams, the technical changes he has made this summer and the battle he faces to change public perception. #Asheshttps://t.co/IK016vLunX

2.46am GMT

32nd over: Australia 81-2 (Warner 30, Smith 13) Anderson goes again. But to Smith this time. The Aussie skipper takes the first runs off the England stud from the second last ball of the set, forcing through backward point. Nice timing. Anderson bumps Warner! Not handled that well either, but down behind square for one.

2.42am GMT

31st over: Australia 77-2 (Warner 29, Smith 10) Curran replacing Broad and gives up the first run in about four overs with his second ball, Smith tucking him square. Warner defending, watching, defending watching. 100 balls faced and yet to make 30. Raise your bat for the Cowan Ton, you good thing.

Geoff next to me telling me that as far as scores above single figures go, the only slower innings he has played is 14 from 60 balls in the evening session at Adelaide earlier this series. Nice statting, Geoffers. I’m definitely going to be writing about this at stumps.

This is currently Warner's slowest innings of 100 or more balls in Tests. His run rate is 1.72 runs per over, his next slowest innings of this length was back in 2012 against West Indies #Ashes

2.36am GMT

30th over: Australia 76-2 (Warner 29, Smith 9) Fantastic cricket. Might be nearing the end of this Anderson spell, but he’s playing his role here to Warner. Absolutely nothing offered. Making Warner play throughout, but no chance to do anything other than defend. Three maidens on the spin from him since lunch. Warner nearing his Cowan ton (100 balls faced).

2.34am GMT

29th over: Australia 76-2 (Warner 29, Smith 9) Broad’s turn to pin Smith down. So many maidens. By comparison, England delivered only five of those on day three at Perth. Smith is trying to drive through the packed 7-2 field, but finding fielders.

2.29am GMT

28th over: Australia 76-2 (Warner 29, Smith 9) Maiden again from Anderson to Warner. Again, defending more than leaving. Putting in a real shift, is Warner. Great to watch. As Jim Maxwell notes on ABC, we are watching Australia’s two best batsmen against the number one seamer in the world. Well worth a visit if you are in Melbourne and having a quiet day. Ample room - couldn’t be more than, say, 27,248 here right now.

“Hi Adam.” Good afternoon to you, Kate Chambers. “Enjoying yours and Rob’s blogs during the game. Watching the Test, reading the ABC and Guardian blogs and I missed the link to Vic Marks’ possible interview mentioned yesterday during lunch. Can you send me the link?”

2.22am GMT

27th over: Australia 76-2 (Warner 29, Smith 9) Shoooot. The familiar Steve Smith off-drive from Perth. There it is. The way he shuffles, somehow finds extra time other players have once finally set in position. Lashes that down the ground. No need to run for that. Drives through cover again when Broad overpitches, for one. Then Warner takes him to mid-on for another. Good batting. They could do worse than putting England under a little bit of scoreboard pressure in this first hour. If these two are still there when the deficit is knocked off then it could be a different game.

“Thanks for a fascinating OBO.” Aw, thanks Thida Aung. “Helps visualize a match I used to watch on TV. I love England in other sports but support Australia in cricket. Have done so ever since that summer at Leeds when I first deciphered the game while writing a thesis. (My thesis suffered but I had a lot out of my first Ashes.)“ Great to have you with us.

2.17am GMT

26th over: Australia 70-2 (Warner 28, Smith 4) Anderson to Warner. Enjoyed their little stoush before lunch. He’s round the wicket to him again from the southern end. Uses his bat in defence to five of the six deliveries. They’re keeping him honest. Hard graft. Good cricket. Another maiden. 28 from 85 balls - perhaps his slowest strike-rate in Test cricket? Or in any innings he’s ever played since birth?

2.14am GMT

Some emails before the players return.

“What a shame that Jimmy’s dismissal of Khawaja occurred just after Geoffrey Boycott had thrilled us with his incessant complaining about Anderson bowling round the wicket to the left handers,” writes Brian Withington. “What does the Burnley man know about bowling?” Very good.

1.35am GMT

25th over: Australia 70-2 (Warner 28, Smith 4) Broad has the last over before the break. It’s a maiden to Smith. But so close to having the captain with the penultimate delivery, attempting a lavish drive on the up without a lot of footwork. We don’t see that very often from the Aussie superstar, just before an interval too. Lunch it is.

So, after picking up Anderson with the first ball of the day to end England’s innings (Cook carrying his bat with 244 not out), Australia have lost Bancroft and Khawaja as they work to eliminate their 164-run first innings deficit. The former looked fantastic before chopping on, but he won’t escape plenty of people questioning whether he’s the right man for the South African tour in March. It’s a tough business like that.

1.32am GMT

24th over: Australia 70-2 (Warner 28, Smith 4) Ticking it over again in this over, scoring from four of the six balls in this Anderson set. Smith busy, to fine leg a couple of times, racing back for a second when the chance was there. Then through the gap at cover. One to come before lunch.

Geoff is angry about people slagging off Cook’s achievement. Truth told, he’ll probably never be respected in Australia. Not the way he should be. Just the way it is.

I guess Statsguru needs a 'dead rubber' filter, so we can get rid of all those wickets and runs that apparently don't count.

1.29am GMT

23rd over: Australia 65-2 (Warner 27, Smith 0) Broad to Warner. Defending well. Leaving when he should. Warner has faced 77 balls for his 27 now. Really knows how to shift gears these days. He’ll know how important it is to be there for a good few hours yet. Another maiden.

1.24am GMT

22nd over: Australia 65-2 (Warner 27, Smith 0) Australia still trail by 99 as the captain joins his deputy. The Barmy Army are up and about. They were last night too. I went along to watch Shakerfaker, Australia’s best Oasis tribute band (I have to say that, they’re mates of mine, but they are superb) and the Barmies were there in force. Mostly singing about Alastair Cook, which I quite enjoyed (and joined in with). Smith has to defend four of the five remanining deliveries, Jimmy attacking his stumps from the get-go. Wicket maiden. Ten minutes until the lunch break. If they can sort one of these two out before sandwiches, Joe Root’s men should be just about over the line.

Vish has written thousands (and thousands, and thousands) of words on reverse swing after interviewing scores of experts on it. That context to his tweet here.

There is literally no point in tampering with the middle of the ball for reverse swing.

Slows it down through the air which reduces its effectiveness. https://t.co/SqoE2YXsNK

1.17am GMT

Edged, gone! First ball of Jimmy’s new over forces Khawaja to play around the wicket, it straightens just enough to win the edge, safely taken by Bairstow. Watching again, it hasn’t done an awful lot. Just played the wrong line. “Maybe just a hint of reverse?” Glenn Maxwell asks on the radio commentary. Dare I say, some pressure on Usman? 162 runs at 27 so far this summer, in six hits.

1.15am GMT

21st over: Australia 65-1 (Warner 27, Khawaja 11) Moeen off after three overs. Hmm. Stu Broad is back. Beats Usman! That’s moved away from the edge. Here comes that reverse, I reckon. Warner watches carefully later in the over. Has a big job ahead of him here.

#AUSvENG #Ashes @mcg Usman Khawaja gets off the mark with a six off the bowling Moeen Ali @theagesport @theage pic.twitter.com/L6hxHPUZRD

1.12am GMT

20th over: Australia 64-1 (Warner 27, Khawaja 10) Jimmy v Warner. That’s a heavyweight battle. Warner still unable to find gaps when using his bat. Elects to leave a couple, relatively close to his off-stump. Nice scrap between the two.

David Goodman hits me with some more marathon stays in the middle. “Not quite the same as being on the pitch for every ball of the game, but there is another interesting list of players who have managed to bat on all five days of a test. Boycott makes that list as well, and the most recent entrant is Pujara last month.”

1.09am GMT

19th over: Australia 64-1 (Warner 27, Khawaja 10) A third double-digit over of the innings as Usman goes bang, bang! Gets himself down the strip to Moeen and unfurls a lofted straight drive for SIX! Beautifully executed, the ball landing in the members at long-off. An even better stroke to finish, driving the off-spinner inside out through extra cover. Gorgeous batting. And what sort of dent will that leave in Moeen’s confidence?

1.07am GMT

18th over: Australia 53-1 (Warner 26, Khawaja 0) Jimmy is back, replacing Woakes who has just taken a wicket. They must want their numero at Khawaja before he’s set. He’s bowling to Warner here to begin. Defending, leaving. Then beats him! Great bowling. Is that some reverse? Definitely moved away after angling in from round the wicket.

John Davis is having himself a deep dive. “Following an anniversary reminder on a social media site that today is (UK time) the seventh anniversary of England winning the Ashes in Australia and then following links, I ended up re-reading the over-by-over coverage of the horrible day when the spot-fixing case erupted - and, as a by-product, took away the glory from a stand that should have been celebrated forn decades. Although this saddened me again, it was nice that it brought into focus that this series has been all about the cricket - and in its quiet way that is something to celebrate. Thanks for all the hard work that goes into the updates.”

1.00am GMT

17th over: Australia 52-1 (Warner 25, Khawaja 0) Warner drives Moeen down the ground for one. Khawaja hits a couple of pushes nicely, but straight to fielders.

“That chat between Root and Ravi put me in the mind of some indulgent grandfather grinning at his grandson’s tales of mischief,” emails Aditi Capam. If they can get it reversing sooner rather than later, Root won’t mind a bit of a telling off. All part of it.

12.58am GMT

16th over: Australia 51-1 (Warner 24, Khawaja 0) Was that a bit of booing I detected as Usman walked out? Hard to tell. Maybe related to the catch late yesterday? Anyway, he’s out there now and sees out the over without using his bat.

Cameron Bancroft chops on, gone for 27. Is he playing for a ticket to South Africa in Sydney? #ashes

12.54am GMT

Another chop on! The ball after Bancroft lashes a gorgeous on-driven boundary to bring up the 50 stand he’s one deflected back onto his stumps. Not playing a vertical bat shot the way his three team-mates fell on morning two, but the result is the same.

12.52am GMT

15th over: Australia 47-0 (Bancroft 23, Warner 24) Moeen on for a bowl. Not a great setting for him really. Good luck. Three singles down the ground. No issues there.

12.50am GMT

14th over: Australia 44-0 (Bancroft 21, Warner 23) Maiden from Woakes to Warner. He’s stroking the ball well enough, but just can’t pick the gaps. Yet more chatting with the officials. Umpire Dharmasena this time having a word to Woakes at the end of his set. Colour and movement.

“What is wrong in throwing the ball short of the keeper or having a shy at the stumps?” poses Sachin Paul. “It’s not against the laws of the game and the custodians of the laws (not spirit) , the umpires, have no grounds to talk to Root.”

12.46am GMT

13th over: Australia 44-0 (Bancroft 21, Warner 23) Big over for Australia. Curran into his fourth over and serves up Warner an overpitched delivery, the punchy vice-captain doesn’t miss out cover driving to the boundary. Bancroft’s turn later in the over, picking up a couple through cover. Didn’t have a lot of room there, did it well. Leaves the best to last, leaning into his second stellar straight drive of the morning. The West Australian looks on here. Drinks. Umpire Ravi at the break has a chat to Joe Root. Presumably another word about the way they are throwing the ball in from the deep. Naughty.

12.40am GMT

12th over: Australia 33-0 (Bancroft 15, Warner 18) Woakes drags his length back a bit here. Was far more dangerous when he kept it up on day one. When he does give Warner a chance to get on the front foot he pushes between cover and mid-off but they can’t quite work out who is going for it, beating them both. Three added.

Fair bit of chat online about the ball. I’m just going to leave this tweet here without comment for now.

"That's interesting, you can't get your nail into the ball..." - Slats. AUS 0/30 #Ashes pic.twitter.com/gGyOmXQWEn

12.35am GMT

11th over: Australia 30-0 (Bancroft 15, Warner 15) Umpires aren’t happy with England throwing in on the bounce. Can’t imagine it’ll stop them. Nice cut shot from Bancroft off Curran, who is looking the better of the two in the middle at the moment. Certainly wasn’t the case on Boxing Day. Warner keeps the strike with a single to mid-off.

My man Johnny Starbuck has more to add on being out there for a full match. “I thought this question had come up a few months ago. Turns out (according to TMS) that Cookie has already done it, at Edgbaston.”

12.29am GMT

10th over: Australia 26-0 (Bancroft 12, Warner 14) Back to back maidens from Woakes to Warner. Better length. Bowling to a 7-2, Warner picks out the fielders. Maxwell now being asked questions about selection on radio. Handling them carefully. Speaks really well. “I have a lot of unfinished business in the baggy green.” I’ll post the audio from this chat when the ABC post it. “I always felt like I’m a red-ball cricketer but it probably took me too long to work out how to bat for long periods of time.”

@collinsadam In 1952 at Lucknow, Nazar Mohammad carried his bat and made 124 n.o enabling Pakistan to beat India by an innings and 43 runs and at least in theory was on the field the whole time. https://t.co/Vaf8JKLQUq

12.26am GMT

9th over: Australia 26-0 (Bancroft 12, Warner 14) Ooh, that shoots through! Bancroft gets a dangerous one from Curran. Next up: a very close leave. Working into his best spell of the Test Match, the young man on debut. Then finds Warner’s inside edge to finish the set. Not easy to do. Well bowled.

Aditi Prabhudesai isn’t thrilled with the review a couple of overs back. “So England while failing to detect the edges off their own bats, can spot a mysterious edge some few miles away. Didn’t get cash back off the unused edges yesterday eh England?”

12.18am GMT

8th over: Australia 24-0 (Bancroft 11, Warner 13) Woakes sends down a maiden to Warner, which gives me time to catch up on that correspondence.

Johnny Starbuck and Jon Keen are all over the question of who has been on the pitch for every ball of a Test. Boycott, of course. Jon continues: “For the whole match in the Headingly Test where he got his 100th hundred in 1977. He was last out in the first innings, then (I think) unbeaten when England batted again.” Sounds convincing enough to me. Any other takers?

12.13am GMT

7th over: Australia 24-0 (Bancroft 11, Warner 13) REVIEW! NOT OUT! Curran is on to replace Jimmy and England reckon Bancroft has got a little under edge flashing at one well outside the off-stump. They go upstairs for a look, but he’s not anywhere near that really. Poor referral from Root. A lot of emails to chugg through at the moment, bear with me.

12.10am GMT

6th over: Australia 23-0 (Bancroft 11, Warner 12) Woakes replacing Broad from the southern end. Bancroft takes him down the ground for one to begin. Warner takes another later in the over through midwicket when he’s a touch short. Not much going on here for the seamer.

12.09am GMT

5th over: Australia 21-0 (Bancroft 10, Warner 11) Davey’s turn. Jimmy gives Warner enough time to steer through the empty cordon. Well, not entirely empty - there is one slip and a gully. Actually, that says more about the pitch than it does Root. A couple more through point from the left-hander, the shot he plays so well from the balls of his feet. Then a couple more off the pads to finish. Busy.

12.06am GMT

4th over: Australia 13-0 (Bancroft 10, Warner 3) There is a close-up camera on the pitch and it is completely bare. No chance of this breaking up for the spinners. No good. Have a read of this from Dan Brettig last night for more on that. Back to the middle, and it is an eventful over with Bancroft taking charge. Albeit not before Warner is able to take a single to deep point. Yes, you’re reading that correctly: Root has a deep point in the fourth over. Come on. Anyway, Bancroft’s turn. Broad is short and the opener is pulling hard and well. Easy runs. Next ball, one of the shots of the match, a straight drive so neat that it nearly hits the stumps. Haven’t seen him play one of those since the second dig in Brisbane.

11.56pm GMT

3rd over: Australia 2-0 (Bancroft 1, Warner 1) Warner carefully watching Jimmy. Then defending, then clipping to midwicket to open his account. Bancroft ducks then prods. Good early contest.

“If England win by an innings,” Roger Sweetman writes, in stark contrast to the email from the previous over, “Cook will have been on the pitch for the entire test. Had any player ever done that before?” I’ll ask Ric Finlay. Stand by.

11.52pm GMT

2nd over: Australia 1-0 (Bancroft 1, Warner 0) Disco Stuart Broad to Bancroft from the Great Southern Stand End. Oh, and it’s a good one to begin with one shaping away from the right hander and past his edge. Lovely way to get going. Nice bouncer in there too. Maiden.

“Australia 350 off about 120 overs,” tweets @Notdcfcboss at me. “England require 190 off 60. Still fascinating and enough time for England to implode.” Don’t do this to yourselves.

11.46pm GMT

1st over: Australia 1-0 (Bancroft 1, Warner 0) Jimmy involved in the first two deliveries of the day, with bat then ball. Couldn’t haven’t happened often. IF AT ALL? Come at me, stattos. Right. He’s wide to begin, then on Bancroft’s pads, taking one. First ball to Warner, and that’s just kept out! Shot through low. Joe Root likes that.

Some Cook stats, from the England camp.

11.38pm GMT

Tom Adam was all over that. A few minutes before play: “The key question is, who’s on strike? Because if it’s Jimmy this morning could be something of an anti-climax.” Played. “I get today’s Nostradamus award,” he adds after the fact.

11.33pm GMT

First ball! Cummins around the wicket, into the ribs of Jimmy, who fends into the hands of Bancroft at forward short leg. How about that. Cook carries his bat, the first to do so for England since Mike Atherton in 1997 at Christchurch. (He’s sitting next to me, and clarifies that it was 94* – then got a ton in the second dig).

11.30pm GMT

The players are on the field! Cummins to Jimmy. Play!

11.27pm GMT

Right, I’m into the ground. And can report that the hessian is currently on the pitch. It is barely drizzling, but it might mean a slightly delayed start. We’ll see.

Robert Wilson weighing in on my topic of choice this morning. “Listen, Grasshopper,” uh oh. “From those who love you, who cherish and value all your smiles and tears, your dark days and bright, take a piece of advice. Please DON’T write about the use of technology for overturning on-field decisions. A subject dull enough to make raisins of your testicles, too many fine, brave young souls have been lost in those arse-grinding, deadly quicksands.”

11.09pm GMT

“Young Cookie,” writes Tim Hall , “a mere stripling of a lad compared to W.G. and other hisrtoricals… well, I hope he organises Broadband to hang on until he’s 300 to the good. Happy New Year, or as we say in this heathen North Jutland part of Denmark - ‘Godt Ntyar’.”

This raises an interesting point. How long can Cookie go on for? Writing for somewhere else about this last night, imagine he gets around for another four years? A fifth Ashes tour. He’ll have Sachin covered for runs and Tests. DO IT!

View from @MelbCCLibrary foyer 8:30am this morning. Adios to Viv "Richards 208" banner for visitors batting record in a Test @MCG, 1984-2017. We now await AN Cook's final score for new record (& banner to join others in Percy Beames Bar of MCC Members Stand) pic.twitter.com/7HYHmTswRe

The MCC has moved quickly after Alastair Cook (244 and still going) broke Viv's record for highest Test score by a visiting player #Ashes pic.twitter.com/IzwjbI8xNk

10.53pm GMT

Nath Jones to open the batting. “Get rid of the soft signal, and the benefit of doubt goes with the batsman. Compensate the bowlers by getting rid of umpire’s call on DRS, everyone’s happy.” Interesting. The politician in me likes the horse trading.

Oh, I neglected to give Geoff Lemon and my podcast a plug for those making their way into the ground now or killing time before play starts. We had a wonderful long chat with Vic Marks after the Perth Test. About his life in cricket. From Somerset to England tours to the press and commentary box. A decent chunk on his friendship with Peter Roebuck. Plenty there.

10.45pm GMT

If a few committed citizens can change the world. Then surely a few committed OBOers can help change the playing conditions. Specifically, the soft-signal nonsense. And the use of technology for overturning on-field decisions more broadly. I’m determined to write about this after the series, but I want to come to this scrap armed with solutions rather than just complaints.

So then. How do we get this right? Do we take the on-field umpires out of it all together where close catches are concerned? Similarly, how do we define conclusive evidence for slight edges that could go either way? Lay it on me in the usual ways: email, twitter, etc.

10.25pm GMT

Bad Day Boof, Sad Day Smudge. You always know Australia have had an ordinary day when the coach has to front the media at stumps. My piece from last night.

Related: Bad Day Boof turns into Sad Day Smudge for Australia’s Ashes captain | Adam Collins

10.22pm GMT

Good morning to you all. As Darren Lehmann said last night, Australia’s hopes in this match are just about gone after Alastair Cook’s epic. Play will resume today with England 164 ahead, their first innings still yet to formally conclude.

There was a bit of chat around late yesterday as to whether Joe Root might declare and have a brief crack before the close. I dismissed that as crazy talk, mostly because I wanted to see Cook pass Brian Lara on the all-time run-scorers’ list, which he did with his final stroke of the day. But now, with the relatively iffy weather forecast today (60 percent chance of rain, looking pretty dark outside) maybe that was a slight opportunity lost.

2.38pm GMT

Adam will be here shortly. In the meantime, have a read of how Alastair Cook had doubts over his England career before yesterday’s knock:

Related: Alastair Cook feared England career might be over before double century

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