Crazy
How did I ever come to the point of writing a book? Well, I promise you, it wasn't my idea. Anyone who thinks writing an 80,000-word novel is fun needs to get their thinker fixed. It’s work. In December of 2013, I had started my normal day at work, and a thought popped into my head—write a book. Now, at first, I just shook my head and dismissed the thought, but it continued day after day, month after month. "Write a book." It was relentless. After months of this I thought to myself, "Well, this is it! This is how it all ends. I am going to wind up in a mental institution, strapped to a wheelchair, mumbling, "write a book" to myself over and over again."
Let me say this first—I do believe that God talks to all of us, it's just that we don't listen very well. This was the case with me. But after months of "write a book...write a book" every single day, I stubbornly came to the conclusion that that's the only thing that makes any sense; for some reason, I'm supposed to write a book. God wants me to write a book about his grace and forgiveness! This sounds grandiose, I know, and I'm very careful about saying God spoke to me and asked me to do something. It freaks people out, but it’s the only thing that makes sense. Why do we think anything that God does has to be on a grand scale—parting the Red Sea, raising the dead, creating the universe? I think God speaks to all of us all the time in small ways. An act of kindness to someone in need is a miracle to that person. Rescuing an animal from a shelter is a miracle to that animal. Giving a word of encouragement to someone can change their life. All of these thoughts originated in you because of a voice in your head that says, "I need to help them." God works small miracles much more than big miracles. It isn't hard for us see evil and think "that's the work of devil." But we are slower to give God credit for the good we see or even the good we do. People are just strange. I sometimes wonder if we have become too complacent in our Christian walk? As Christians, we are comfortable with everything in a neat and tidy box. We understand the box. We love the box. We feel safe in the box. The box makes sense to us and give us comfort. But, if someone goes outside of the box, we tend to judge and criticize because we don't understand why they have gone outside our nice, neat little box. Jesus was outside the box from the very second he came on this earth and until we crucified him. The Manifestation of Caleb Lewis is "outside the box."
I have never in my life thought about or wanted to write a book. Not once. But God has used the most unlikely, unqualified people to carry out his jobs over and over again in the Bible. Not that I'm comparing myself to Moses or David. The sad truth is, I’ve lived a relatively quiet faith my whole life. So one day, I finally said, "You're not going to let this go are you? Okay, okay, OKAY, I'll write a book.” I can remember mumbling to God, "Am I the least-qualified person you could possibly find for this task?"
I had to Google how many words qualify as a novel. I had no idea. To tell you the truth, I don't remember ever writing more than a two-page document in my whole life. Anyhoo, according to the all-knowing Google, there must be a minimum of 50,000 words to qualify as a novel; of course, I couldn't wrap my head around that number, but it seemed like a lot. In late April of 2014, with a sense of helplessness and a totally confused look, I opened Microsoft Word and just stared at the screen. I remember looking up at God and saying, "Now what?" I thought to myself, well it has to be fiction, and it has to be about something I know about. “Wait a second, I see what's going on here - faith. That's it—this is a test of my faith and obedience to God." We have all heard the saying "If God brings you too it, he will see you through it." Well, I'm fixing to find out. Now, here’s the cool part. I put my hands on the keyboard and words started pouring out of me; I couldn't stop writing. I became absolutely obsessed—it was CRAZY!! I would write when my wife went to bed at night (she knew nothing about this). When I wasn't writing I was anxious to start writing. The rough draft was done in about six weeks, but as I came to find out, the work was just beginning. I finally got the courage to tell my wife Amber I was writing a book. She just stared at me. She was at a loss for words. She didn't laugh out loud, but I bet in her brain, she was thinking, "Well, this should be interesting." After she read the first draft she was stunned to say the least, and even a bit emotional. She was by far my biggest fan and sounding board throughout this journey. So…I was never a great English student (sorry Mrs. Brinkman and Mrs. Hysinger); my sentence structure, punctuation, and all that good stuff was somewhat lacking to say the least. But by September of 2014, I had what I thought was a decent book. I let three close friends read it, and even though they were kind, they thought I may need to tone it down a bit. I like to call the first book my "Go Set a Watchman" edition.
The rest of 2014 I continued to refine and edit the book, but there was something about it that was still unsettling to me—it just didn't feel right. Yes, God wanted me to write a story about his grace and forgiveness, but beyond that, I had to figure out how. I remember letting my Aunt Linda read the book. Linda is a retired literary professor, so I thought she would be a great help. I sent her the manuscript, and her first comment was, "It's better than what most of my freshman literature students could write." Well, even though she was trying to be kind, that wasn't going to cut it. This book had to be on the same level as a professional writer or I was going to look silly, fail God, and embarrass myself. Out of frustration, I finally sent the book to four professional writers to read and to give me their thoughts and critiques. I learned a bunch about writing from these people. The number one theme that ran through all the critiques was, "Quit telling a story and show a story." Evidently, I was continually telling the reader what to think and how to feel. (This is a literary no-no, as I came to find out.) Let the reader decide how they feel and how they interpret the book—that’s the magic of words. This is much harder than you can imagine, telling a story is easy, showing a story is extraordinarily difficult. The four writers had many more suggestions, thoughts, and even words, but the one comment that rang true through the four writers was this—the story is fabulous, you just have to properly write it. The foundation was there, but the writing was…. Let’s say, leaving something to be desired.
So, I began tearing the book apart in January of 2015. I deleted some chapters and wrote new chapters. I edited chapters, paragraphs, sentences. Every single word and sentence in this book I tore apart and every word was thought about over and over again. One wrong word can change the tone and feel of a thought. The book has to flow comfortably to the next chapter and continue to carry on the storyline. Character development is critical. After four more months of very hard work, in late April of 2015, I felt I had the book I was supposed to write. One of the four writers I hired to critique the book—Carrie, from Pennsylvania—was also a professional editor, so we started editing one chapter at a time. Even though editors don't necessarily change authors’ words, they do make suggestions on how sentence structure can make the words more vibrant. They also let you know about confusing parts of the book. I would get so irritated when Carrie would say, “You need to write some more to clear this up.” I just wanted to say, “You write it. I’m tired of writing!” But her job wasn’t to write the story—it was to make it flow and be comfortable for readers to read. Editors suggest that you get rid of parts of the book that are just fluff, and man, I would get mad. "I spent hours on those words or thoughts and now you just want me to hit the delete button on them?" Sometimes it’s hard, but I learned from Carrie's editing skills. I didn't take all of her suggestions, words, or thoughts, but I never questioned her on punctuation and sentence structure.
Well, the book you have now, The Manifestation of Caleb Lewis, has been an almost two-year journey for me. I’ve had so many emotions about this book, from elation to sheer terror and everything in between. One emotion I still have is the vulnerability I feel of publishing this book. The thoughts and words—are they going to be accepted, or am I going to get crucified by the Christian community? This is a hard book because of the subject matter, and trying to mix that with God's grace and forgiveness is, well, quite the balancing act. I'm not sure a book like this has ever been written about God's forgiveness, and I guess the jury is still out on if it should be written.
Some parts of this book may upset some people, but as sure as my name is Timothy D. Tims, I am positive this is the book I was supposed to write. Yes, parts of the book still make me uncomfortable, but in order to be an impactful story, there has to be something to forgive. I know my friends and church members are going to read this book, and I truly pray that all my readers can feel my heart and know that my only wish for this book is for it to make an impact on someone’s life. The world is full of critics, cynical people, and haters. I know that. This book may offend some, but then again, it may very well be a book that helps lead someone to Christ. The truth is, if that happens, it will all be worth it, regardless of any criticism I receive.
Timothy D. Tims
Let me say this first—I do believe that God talks to all of us, it's just that we don't listen very well. This was the case with me. But after months of "write a book...write a book" every single day, I stubbornly came to the conclusion that that's the only thing that makes any sense; for some reason, I'm supposed to write a book. God wants me to write a book about his grace and forgiveness! This sounds grandiose, I know, and I'm very careful about saying God spoke to me and asked me to do something. It freaks people out, but it’s the only thing that makes sense. Why do we think anything that God does has to be on a grand scale—parting the Red Sea, raising the dead, creating the universe? I think God speaks to all of us all the time in small ways. An act of kindness to someone in need is a miracle to that person. Rescuing an animal from a shelter is a miracle to that animal. Giving a word of encouragement to someone can change their life. All of these thoughts originated in you because of a voice in your head that says, "I need to help them." God works small miracles much more than big miracles. It isn't hard for us see evil and think "that's the work of devil." But we are slower to give God credit for the good we see or even the good we do. People are just strange. I sometimes wonder if we have become too complacent in our Christian walk? As Christians, we are comfortable with everything in a neat and tidy box. We understand the box. We love the box. We feel safe in the box. The box makes sense to us and give us comfort. But, if someone goes outside of the box, we tend to judge and criticize because we don't understand why they have gone outside our nice, neat little box. Jesus was outside the box from the very second he came on this earth and until we crucified him. The Manifestation of Caleb Lewis is "outside the box."
I have never in my life thought about or wanted to write a book. Not once. But God has used the most unlikely, unqualified people to carry out his jobs over and over again in the Bible. Not that I'm comparing myself to Moses or David. The sad truth is, I’ve lived a relatively quiet faith my whole life. So one day, I finally said, "You're not going to let this go are you? Okay, okay, OKAY, I'll write a book.” I can remember mumbling to God, "Am I the least-qualified person you could possibly find for this task?"
I had to Google how many words qualify as a novel. I had no idea. To tell you the truth, I don't remember ever writing more than a two-page document in my whole life. Anyhoo, according to the all-knowing Google, there must be a minimum of 50,000 words to qualify as a novel; of course, I couldn't wrap my head around that number, but it seemed like a lot. In late April of 2014, with a sense of helplessness and a totally confused look, I opened Microsoft Word and just stared at the screen. I remember looking up at God and saying, "Now what?" I thought to myself, well it has to be fiction, and it has to be about something I know about. “Wait a second, I see what's going on here - faith. That's it—this is a test of my faith and obedience to God." We have all heard the saying "If God brings you too it, he will see you through it." Well, I'm fixing to find out. Now, here’s the cool part. I put my hands on the keyboard and words started pouring out of me; I couldn't stop writing. I became absolutely obsessed—it was CRAZY!! I would write when my wife went to bed at night (she knew nothing about this). When I wasn't writing I was anxious to start writing. The rough draft was done in about six weeks, but as I came to find out, the work was just beginning. I finally got the courage to tell my wife Amber I was writing a book. She just stared at me. She was at a loss for words. She didn't laugh out loud, but I bet in her brain, she was thinking, "Well, this should be interesting." After she read the first draft she was stunned to say the least, and even a bit emotional. She was by far my biggest fan and sounding board throughout this journey. So…I was never a great English student (sorry Mrs. Brinkman and Mrs. Hysinger); my sentence structure, punctuation, and all that good stuff was somewhat lacking to say the least. But by September of 2014, I had what I thought was a decent book. I let three close friends read it, and even though they were kind, they thought I may need to tone it down a bit. I like to call the first book my "Go Set a Watchman" edition.
The rest of 2014 I continued to refine and edit the book, but there was something about it that was still unsettling to me—it just didn't feel right. Yes, God wanted me to write a story about his grace and forgiveness, but beyond that, I had to figure out how. I remember letting my Aunt Linda read the book. Linda is a retired literary professor, so I thought she would be a great help. I sent her the manuscript, and her first comment was, "It's better than what most of my freshman literature students could write." Well, even though she was trying to be kind, that wasn't going to cut it. This book had to be on the same level as a professional writer or I was going to look silly, fail God, and embarrass myself. Out of frustration, I finally sent the book to four professional writers to read and to give me their thoughts and critiques. I learned a bunch about writing from these people. The number one theme that ran through all the critiques was, "Quit telling a story and show a story." Evidently, I was continually telling the reader what to think and how to feel. (This is a literary no-no, as I came to find out.) Let the reader decide how they feel and how they interpret the book—that’s the magic of words. This is much harder than you can imagine, telling a story is easy, showing a story is extraordinarily difficult. The four writers had many more suggestions, thoughts, and even words, but the one comment that rang true through the four writers was this—the story is fabulous, you just have to properly write it. The foundation was there, but the writing was…. Let’s say, leaving something to be desired.
So, I began tearing the book apart in January of 2015. I deleted some chapters and wrote new chapters. I edited chapters, paragraphs, sentences. Every single word and sentence in this book I tore apart and every word was thought about over and over again. One wrong word can change the tone and feel of a thought. The book has to flow comfortably to the next chapter and continue to carry on the storyline. Character development is critical. After four more months of very hard work, in late April of 2015, I felt I had the book I was supposed to write. One of the four writers I hired to critique the book—Carrie, from Pennsylvania—was also a professional editor, so we started editing one chapter at a time. Even though editors don't necessarily change authors’ words, they do make suggestions on how sentence structure can make the words more vibrant. They also let you know about confusing parts of the book. I would get so irritated when Carrie would say, “You need to write some more to clear this up.” I just wanted to say, “You write it. I’m tired of writing!” But her job wasn’t to write the story—it was to make it flow and be comfortable for readers to read. Editors suggest that you get rid of parts of the book that are just fluff, and man, I would get mad. "I spent hours on those words or thoughts and now you just want me to hit the delete button on them?" Sometimes it’s hard, but I learned from Carrie's editing skills. I didn't take all of her suggestions, words, or thoughts, but I never questioned her on punctuation and sentence structure.
Well, the book you have now, The Manifestation of Caleb Lewis, has been an almost two-year journey for me. I’ve had so many emotions about this book, from elation to sheer terror and everything in between. One emotion I still have is the vulnerability I feel of publishing this book. The thoughts and words—are they going to be accepted, or am I going to get crucified by the Christian community? This is a hard book because of the subject matter, and trying to mix that with God's grace and forgiveness is, well, quite the balancing act. I'm not sure a book like this has ever been written about God's forgiveness, and I guess the jury is still out on if it should be written.
Some parts of this book may upset some people, but as sure as my name is Timothy D. Tims, I am positive this is the book I was supposed to write. Yes, parts of the book still make me uncomfortable, but in order to be an impactful story, there has to be something to forgive. I know my friends and church members are going to read this book, and I truly pray that all my readers can feel my heart and know that my only wish for this book is for it to make an impact on someone’s life. The world is full of critics, cynical people, and haters. I know that. This book may offend some, but then again, it may very well be a book that helps lead someone to Christ. The truth is, if that happens, it will all be worth it, regardless of any criticism I receive.
Timothy D. Tims
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