My favorite guides to Proper Behavior

This morning I read a New York Times article, Classic Advice: Please Leave Well Enough Alone, on two new-ish etiquette books: How To Win Friends and Influence People In The Digital Age and Emily Post's Etiquette 18th Edition. One was scathingly reviewed and the other was treated a little more lightly. It seems that I will not be adding either of them to my collection of etiquette books, but it got me thinking about some really good texts on the subject of good behavior.

My interest in Proper Manners and all things ettiquette began with my mother's yet-to-be published work The Restaurant Rules. Because she was a single mother on a budget it was vastly important that we both be good dining companions should her dad or someone take us out to dinner. Thus, before even entering a restaurant she and I went through the rules, which included:

Stay in your seat for lord's sake. No running about the restaurant or skulking under the table.
You don't have to like it, but you do have to try it.
Do NOT I repeat do NOT make a fuss or whine or raise your voice or generally carry on.

These things may seem obvious. But we all know that some children have not been lectured sternly on the restaurant rules. And they should.

And so, my fascination began. My all-time favorite book in this genre is Tiffany's Table Manners For Teenagers. Brilliant voice, stylishly illustrated. I am also the proud owner of a Debrett's book on manners (as in the same people that do the book on the peerage that all our romance heroines must memorize). My great-grandfather, J.I. Rodale, also composed a book on etiquette,  though he is not well known for it.

I once had the great priveledge of arranging and attending a session on manners by  Peter Post, grandson to Emily Post. It was followed by what I called " The Evil Hostess Lunch" which I can say because I planned it. The lunch included foods that are quite nearly impossible to attack with delicacy and provoke many a question on table manners. The menu included a boullabaisse (shellfish! fish knives!), olives (pitts!), roast chicken on the bone (gah!). The whole point was to confront these issues and ask the expert on how to deal with them. At the heart, it seems table manners evolved for the purpose of protecting one's attire–tip the soup bowl away from you for those last few spoonfulls so that you don't spill or avoid reaching over the table lest you set your sleeve on fire.

This fascination of mine comes in handy when it comes to Regency Romances. To quote that New York Times article: "Whenever two people come together," Emily Post once said, "and their behavior affects one another, you have etiquette." The Regency, with all of its clearly defined and very strict rules must have been a landmine to navigate successfully but it makes for challenging and interesting plotting involving all those rules and two people coming together. Think it doesn't really matter? Consider a drawing room door, left open just a few inches, that makes all the difference between a private conversation and a compromising position.

What rules of etiquette do you find to be sadly lacking in today's world? Any "Regency Rules" you'd like to see brought back?