The Many, Many Faces of Conan, Or: Conan the Schizophrenic

It's no secret that I'm a bit of a Conan fan, so though the trailer for the reboot looked awful, I went anyway – naturally.

For better or worse, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Sadly, much of the badness seemed to come from the fact that the writers couldn't really figure out what Conan was all about.

I mean, was he a mercenary fueled by money? Or a hoity-toity do-gooder who just frees slaves because it's "morally right"? You can probably guess my answer to this (and the answer of...