If Edgar Allan Poe Had Written A Christmas Carol (Humor)

Now time for a little Christmas humor (tune in tomorrow for the sequel on the subsequent murder investigation, written in the style of Mickey Spillane):

A Poe Christmas

Once upon a snowstorm dreary, through which I trudged all weak and weary,
Past many a quaint and curious number of advertisement lore
I saw the ad, above some wrapping; on the door I started tapping
At first it was a gentle tapping, tapping at the storefront door
I must gain entry to this store, as there was nothing then I wan...